It is just too much sometimes.

For two months I have lived in my house with my little Lexie, self-quarantined, and thought I was fine. After all, I have lived here alone since my husband died ten years ago. What difference would I find?

Well, the first thing I found was missing my household help. I hired women who are responsible and dependable, and they do the difficult things that had become too hard for me. But since I am not having anyone come into my house during this crisis, they had to stay away. The result is a constantly messy kitchen, bathrooms that need cleaning and floors that need to be swept.

In desperation I ordered a Robot vacuum cleaner. The commercial looks great. Just what I need, I thought. But nothing works as well in my house as it does on TV. First, I need to get things off the floor so the robot can clean. It doesn't like my mats in the kitchen and will not climb upon the large mat in the hallway. It goes after the dog bowl and pushes it away and off its mat.

It has a neat feature. It will dock itself and shut off. The only problem is I have to chase it down and try to push the dock button while the robot is still moving. Perhaps a more expensive model has a remote control. That is the only thing that I think would make it work well. It picks up the dust and dog hair. It goes under my sofa and gets the dust bunnies that I seldom reach.

My  other complaint about being here alone with no help is the trash. How on earth can one person create three bags of garbage in one week? I have to drag the big black bags out to my car, load them in and drive down to the lower level of my yard where my outdoor garbage cans live. Today I had to visit a doctor so I managed to get the large bag into the car and dropped it off in the can on my way to my appointment. 

It has been a stormy, rainy day here all day long. But this afternoon late, the temps warmed a bit and the rain slowed down. I walked out on my upper deck and looked down at the garbage cans. What?? I had left the top off the large can after I deposited the bags. Now the can with the bags was full of water. What should I do? Since I was told by my chiropractor to take it easy and not do anything to hurt my back again, I was afraid to try to pour the water out of the can. I just put the top back on and walked away. "Tomorrow is another day."

I hope I can find some help for that job because the heavy can is too much for me to try to turn over and drain it. 

So, living alone with no one to help out with the chores is a bit more difficult than I thought it would be. To make matters worse, one of my helpers has a bad abscessed tooth and is on strong medicine. The other helper broke her foot and is in one of those large boots. I can't call on them.

Today when my sister called, I was having a little pity party for myself. I realized how much I needed her -- to talk to and to be with. My mental health has been affected. I feel alone and so helpless. With the back trouble ongoing now, the pain drains my energy, and I get sad. 

However, I think I talked Gay into coming to see me and helping me with a few things. Most of all, I just need to see her, to laugh with her and feel her sisterly love for me.