Most Americans feel threatened and frightened - Why?

We all seem to be frightened and uncertain these days. We live in a culture that has to blame someone for everything that happens. When we feel threatened and afraid, we don't behave normally.

Years ago someone invented the term, Fight or Flight, and it seems so many people are doing just that. The stress we are dealing with now often makes us want to fight, call others bad names, criticize anyone we don't agree with, even lie about others to prove a point.

This stress, fear and uncertainty is dividing families, bringing out the worst in us. Even my dearest friends who are good, caring and loving people use phrases like  I hate him and I have felt myself so angry I am sure my blood pressure rises. When we get upset with things we can't do one thing about, it depresses us.

Since election day here in the United States, I have withdrawn from the real world as much as possible. I am sick of the name calling, the mean-spirited nature presented on TV.  

Brene' Brown says our media frightens us with all the news we see and hear. I know that is true. If the story is upsetting, it draws more viewers. If the media can bring forth a villain that unifies their viewers and brings out the worst in them, advertisers pour in money for ads on that network. In America, the bottom line is most important.  Already I see the villains will be Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. Just today I heard someone say horrible things about Harris. The same thing always happens when a woman manages to get ahead in this world. They don't want to give her the respect she has earned. 

 

Look what has happened to our world since FOX News and CNN openly took opposite political sides. Each feeds hate, fear and suspicion about leaders in the other party. Whether the opinions spoken are true or not, the viewers now expect to learn all they need to know from those on their preferred Cable News. If anyone is negative about the other party, tells some conspiracy tale, the viewer falls for it.

I heard a learned man on a podcast say we are in need of something other than the status quo which he says is not working. I assume he is speaking of our government in the United States which seems to influence people around the globe. Lots of ideas flow forth from the young, the rich, the middle class, men and women, marginalized groups and senior adults like me. In order to express these different ideas and solutions for a world that seems to be going to hell in a hand basket, we see protests and rebellions against those in power. Is it time to have multi parties in this country? Would that work?

I am being very quiet and staying home. I have to make changes in my life that I can live with and, hopefully, thrive with. It means I must put my health, both mental and physical, ahead of everything else and everyone else.

Being a person who has always helped those who need me, I will now only concern myself with my needs so I can thrive in the difficulties I presently face. 

I hope 2021 will be a different world than we have today.

I know we must continue to follow guidelines for COVID-19 and I am getting used to that. I hope we will have a vaccine that we can feel is safe. I hope all people will understand what is needed to bring this virus under control and will follow those rules to do that. Sadly, today I saw a woman at the drug store who was not wearing a mask, give me an angry look which I assume was because I was wearing a mask.

I heard that a new church opened here and already seventeen people who attended there have tested positive for the virus. The man who opened this church seems to think God will not let people get sick in church!! I heard this from someone and can't be positive this is true, but I do know the new church opened just recently down the road from where I live. 

I read this non-partisan article today.  https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-hatred-negative-partisanship-came-to-dominate-american-politics/

I think this writer is on course with what has happened and why we should be concerned about political parties and how politics has polarized our entire country. This negative partisanship can destroy our democracy if we don't wake up and make changes.

My readers, I hope you are doing well and enjoying life in spite of the present conditions. I tell myself every day that I have so much for which to be thankful.  My heart goes out to those who have lost jobs and who can't pay their rent or pay doctor bills. I worry about young college graduates who can't find jobs now and have to depend on their parents to support them. Their hopes and dreams have been dashed as they planned to start their journey to independence.  Next year will see a better future for all of us, I know, and that is what gives me hope.

As for now, we have the best weather here in the mountains of NC and my trees have turned red and yellow. I sit on my deck and soak up the autumn sounds, smells and sights. My doors and windows are open to welcome the slight breezes and cool air. I welcome the dryer air which is better for my breathing than high humidity. 

Tomorrow will be a better day and I will feel happier about my life, I'm sure. I have made plans for January doing something I enjoy. I hope you are enjoying life in your world and that we can share with each other on social media, on blogs, or by email. You are very important to me.

  

Getting off the fast track this year

For years now, society has been compelled to stay busy, working constantly, at home and at the office.

We hear ourselves reciting a litany of what we accomplished today or this week. We go, go, go all the time as if we are on a treadmill and must keep going faster and faster, doing more and more.

On Social Media, we see our peers posting about all they do. I was caught up on that track myself. I didn't realize what I was doing to my health. After all, I only did what I wanted to do. But I will not be given a crown in glory for what I accomplished today. My reward was the feeling of pride in myself for having done something. However, my life doesn't need to be measured by the items completed on my to-do list.

Although I like to write the end to a long-planned task and I enjoy my work for NCWN-West,  I have planned my life with three days each week set aside just for me to do only what pleases me. If I want to read or watch a movie or talk for an hour on the phone, I will not feel guilty or pressured. On some of these days I plan to spend time with friends and family.

I will never complete all that I need to do in my house. I accept that. I can be happy with my stuff scattered about on my dining table, my upstairs office and downstairs in my studio. I accept that my unique manner of disorganization is mine, and I can work with it. 

All weekend I have been home alone, with Lexie to keep me company. 
I enjoyed the peace and quiet, the free and easy lifestyle now becoming mine. Monday is a holiday here in the USA, so my weekend is extended. I might not dress to go out at all. I can eat whenever I want and sleep when I want with nothing to interrupt me.

I watched two Sunday TV shows. I am caught up in a series on a streaming channel and I watch some of that every day.

I can't seem to make my new Lenova laptop work the way I need. With so many new "options" in every program, I hope to turn off those I will never use. Part of my free time is spent educating myself on new technology. I love to learn, but this is more than I bargained for.

I no longer have cable TV.
 My local television shows are now coming into my house on the Internet. Sad to say, Internet does not work well here in the mountains. I have had to buy enhancers to help bring a signal for my television sets. I had to purchase an Amazon Fire Stick for my Roku TV, and then I had to install it. Although I have worked with it for several hours, it is not working as it should. I will figure out what to do sooner or later.  (Oh, how I miss Barry. He would have had it working with no problem at all.)

It looks like it will take more of my time to get the hang of this new system. I can only work on it for short periods of time before I get stressed. My goal is to stay as calm and stress-free as possible. With my newfound lifestyle, I am sleeping better and longer each night. I am cleaning out my Inbox and throwing away most of the paper that comes in my mailbox each day. For a long time, I have been drowning in paper. Political, charities, and retail envelopes. Now it goes into the trash before I open it. What a waste of money and paper!

This week I plan to work on genealogy and family history. I will also meet old friends one day for a long lunch. It will be fun to catch up. Life is good.

Most important, probably, is my determinination to move more.
Just moving around during the day instead of sitting too long is essential to my good health.

In the book, The Blue Zones, the author tells about why the people in these zones live longer than we do and they are healthier. They move all day long in their daily lives. They live much as my parents lived on the farm in the twentieth century. 

Blue Zone inhabitants are social people.
The author says we should have at least seven people in our lives we can call on at any given time. Everyone who knows me will tell you I love people and being with people is uplifting for me. Social interaction increases endorphins, I guess. 

The people in the Blue Zones don't try to live to be 100 years old. They don't go on diets, or go to the gym. In their daily lives, they walk almost everywhere. They eat simply and burn calories. We can climb stairs, walk to work or ride a bike instead of driving everywhere, and that could help us live longer. 

I can do what is best for me in my own environment. That is my plan for 2020 and beyond. I made my Vision Board for this year. I found that is a great way to accomplish goals. But, I will work some, play some and relax more. No more should do, needs to, and must do now. No more pushing myself and blaming myself when I don't make deadlines. Unless it is a matter of life and death, I will do my best, but if I am late, it is not the end of the world.

Time is our most important commodity. We can't buy it, borrow it, or bring it back once it is gone. I hope to make the most of every minute I have. I want to spend time with my loved ones, friends and family. I will call them and see them on my open days if they are available. I don't want to say, as I have often done in the past, "I wish I had called her, or gone to see her" when I am sending flowers for her funeral. 

How is your stress level? Do you feel you need to slow down, take more Me Time and enjoy a simpler life? 

See you next week and thanks for stopping by.

HOW BEST TO SPEND OUR TIME

As we try to meet deadlines and keep appointments in our daily lives, we now are told not to forget to maintain our prominence in Social Media. Facebook requires attention every day. 

I hardly ever visit Twitter, and now I learn there are more and more new sites popping up we should be aware of and using. Some say blogging is dead, but I notice folks on Facebook link to their blogs or the blogs of others. What can you say of value in a few words on FB or Twitter? I don’t use much of my time on Facebook, playing games, or checking out the latest trend. Writing, teaching, being with friends, mentoring and assisting others by sharing what I can with them – that’s how I spend most of my time.

No one would believe she is an octogenarian, and this photo is right after a bout of illness

Several hours this weekend my older sister, June, and I cleared her desk and went through her boxes of keepsakes, mementos from her long life, re-reading letters we uncovered, letters from Mother, from dear ones who have long passed from this earth. Together we reminisced as she pulled out pages of her life and mine to be discarded or to keep when she moves into assisted living quarters next month. Those handwritten pages from long ago, notes on Mothers Day cards and birthday cards, college report cards, and newspaper articles, tell of one family’s history. I understand her reluctance to throw them away.

We found a poem written for Mother in our brother’s handwriting, a letter to a daughter from her birth mother – these are valuable words in remembrance of and by those who will always be a part of our lives. 

While there was a tinge of sadness as we traveled down memory lane, doing it together made it less painful and even fun at times. I was happy to see my sister’s beautiful smile when I left. The past two days was a learning experience, a valuable time for me. One of Oprah’s wise sayings is, “Make your life a lesson to others.” One day I might be where my sister is today, and she taught me how to make the best of it. She showed me one of the best ways to use my time is sharing it with my loved ones, not twittering, tweeting or leaving blurbs on Facebook for people I’ve never met nor am likely to meet. 

Sometimes, even when we think we have it all together, we realize we can continue to learn more about ourselves.

Have you had an experience that opened your eyes to something new?

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Do you use Twitter and Facebook to promote your writing?

I ran across a great blog tonight. http://writerunboxed.com/2011/05/23/why-i-dont-count-followers-mentions-google-alerts-or-blog-hits-anymore/

This writer is not a fan of social media except blogging. She is an introvert writer, and only wants to use FB and Twitter for social reasons not for selling a product. That is what they were meant to be -- social networks where people interacted and made friends.

Now we are all told we must have a platform in order to get work published. Although I spend a little time on Facebook and none on Twitter, mostly because I haven't had the time to learn to use it properly, if I had a novel coming out, I'd be out there making sure folks knew about it. You have to, I think.

My blogs are more for my enjoyment than for promoting my work. I want people to know my voice, my online voice rather than my platfom.
The joy of blogging is meeting people you might never see in person, but I can develop a friendship.

I want an editor to look at my blog and see who I am. Of course he can see what I've published, but I hope my posts show the person who wrote those poems, those stories and essays.

What do you think about social media? Does it help sell books?

Registration open now

Come and sit on the porch in a rocking chair, write, write, write at Writers Circle, my home studio.

The long Memorial Day weekend is over. I hope you had time to do all the things you enjoy. I did. Tomorrow we are back to "real life."
That means it is time for me to start thinking about registration for my six weeks of creative writing classes beginning Wednesday, June15. Also, we have Ronda Birtha teaching another class on How Indie Authors Use Social Media. Her class in May was superlative. All poets and writers should take a class such as this one to be sure they are using Facebook, Twitter and blogs to their best advantage, and using them safely. These classes are taught at Writers Circle in Hayesville, my home. Contact me by email if you want to register or need more information. nightwriter0302@yahoo.com


"Do you obsess about the tone of your writing when you revise? You should." Writers Digest, July/August issue - Adair Lara.
Some excellent articles in this magazine. Above is from Make Your Tone Pitch-Perfect. We will discuss tone in my classes this summer.