A Week into Recovery

This was written last Wednesday.

Happy me. Surgery is done. 

Tomorrow will be one week since I had knee surgery.

Gay went to much trouble and expense to help me recover. I have had some swelling but not as much as I expected because Gay rented a machine that I wore on my leg day and night to keep it iced. A friend of Gay's had used it when she had a knee replacement. For two days and nights, I wore the wrap around my leg. It pushed cold water through the wrap for thirty minutes, then the cold water ran back into the machine until it was time to ice again. This way no one had to keep up with time to change ice packs and I could use ice all night and all day. I think it has made a huge difference in the swelling.

I must say that the pain from the actual surgery has not been as bad as I had thought it would be. However, on the weekend when I could not reach a doctor or nurse the chronic nerve pain in my legs and feet flared big time. My poor sister went through many hours of watching me suffer and feeling helpless because she couldn't help me. She gave me massages, managed my medicine, fed me, put on my shoes for me, shadowed every step I made with my walker, and did everything possible to ease my pain. On Monday she telephoned the doctors' offices and she got results. I am sure I would not have gotten the right person to talk to since I had tried on Friday but got the runaround. Being dopey on pain medicine also made it impossible to telephone and talk with medical personnel. 

I have seen in catalogs Tee Shirts that say something like, "Don't mess with me. You will be sorry because I have a sister." 

My niece, Lee, has been so helpful, too. She helps me with many things like setting up voice mail on my cell phone. She helped Gay by creating a medication schedule with times and doses so I didn't have to think about taking the pills and tablets I was prescribed for this recovery. Gay had it all down on paper. 

My dear sweet brother-in-law, Stu, shopped and brought groceries, picked up food from a restaurant, or picked up meds from the drug store. He even brought me a lovely bunch of tulips in bud. Now they are opening and look so pretty. 

I am grateful to have dear, caring, and loving family and friends. Just a few years ago I was having a pity party alone in my mountain home. COVID-19 had me isolated and fearful of going out to any place where people gathered. Isolated and alone day after day my sedentary lifestyle affected my health both mentally and physically.

But now I look forward to having a life again where I can participate in writing events, give readings, visit with my friends, and attend community gatherings. All the medical tests this past year prepared me for a new lifestyle. The knee surgery will make my life easier I think and hopefully, my energy level will increase with treatment. 

I finally have my apartment in Roswell set up and I find it very convenient. Lexie loves being here and Gay and Stu seem to enjoy her. Stu takes her for walks. I think she has filled some of the emptiness left after Smokie and Sunny died. When I move in for good I know I can be happy here. But I don't feel rushed. I look forward to spending time here and in the mountains. 

I  see changes on the horizon and I am ready for them. We must accept change and be able to adapt. I will look for the good in change and try not to hang on to my past except in my memories. 

Thanks for reading. I love your comments. When you comment as anonymous, don't forget to leave your first name with your comment. I like to respond to your comments and it helps when I know who is writing. 

Have a great week and embrace your challenges. As you overcome them, you grow stronger. 

Challenges and Changes

Lately, I find myself using things in ways I never did before. Do you notice that for yourself?

Tonight I needed to open a sandwich I had bought at Publix. It was cased in what I believe is called a “clamshell” plastic box. I have bought these types of sandwiches at the deli in Ingles in Hayesville, NC where I live, and opened them. I don’t remember having any problem opening the sandwich box.

But tonight, I pulled the little strip of plastic off so that I could more easily open the box by pulling a flap of plastic. Nothing happened. I pulled again as hard as I could. I turned it and twisted it, but the plastic would not move. I was getting so mad and upset that I could not open the sandwich, and then I remembered that I had a pair of small needle-nosed pliers. I opened them and easily with one hand grabbed the plastic flap with the tool in my hand. I yanked it and the box fell open as if it had planned to do that for me but was just waiting until I realized what I needed to do.  

My tool kit in Roswell apartment

Sometimes it is the little things that surprise us or frustrate us. As I continue to live in my apartment in Roswell, GA, I face more and more challenges learning what I can do and what I can’t do.

Yesterday I held my Zoom, two-hour workshop for the Carl Sandburg Home Historic Site. It went very well, but up until 11:00 AM, we didn’t have good Internet connections. I had ordered a booster system for the Internet already in the house because here in the lower level, my connections were sketchy. After the booster system was installed last week, I came back to try it out on my computer. To my dismay, the Internet connection failed continually. I was worried.

On Monday, Gay and Stu called Best Buy, the Geek Squad, that installed the new system. They could not come on Monday but came late morning on Tuesday, the day I was to teach online. What a relief to see those guys.

With their help and advice, we “forgot” the Att Network, and made the new system the only network on our computers. Boy, I was relieved!

Yes, I am dealing with many new and challenging things these days, but it is wonderful to have two people here who will help me when things get tough.

I had many emails today from the students who were there last evening. I get a major high knowing I had reached people in ways that are helpful to them. A well-published author was among those who registered. She told me she got some great ideas for future stories and especially on how to write about her mother.

So many new things I need to learn, but I am extremely grateful that I am able to continue to reach people virtually, on this blog, on Zoom, and on email. I always enjoyed teaching in classrooms, around a table that connected us, but I feel sure I can continue to make those connections online.

I think about the men and women my age in Ukraine who are struggling just to keep alive, who might be trying to leave that war-torn country, who have physical disabilities like me. Who is there to help them? Are they having to stay there because they can’t handle the challenges ahead?

With all the changes in my life these past two years, I am so, so grateful that I have friends and family who will do whatever it takes to be sure I am Okay. No one could ask for more.

Eleanor Roosevelt said this:

"You have to accept whatever comes,

and the only important thing 

is that you meet it with the 

best you have to give."

What a summer!

Summer is definitely here. It has been a  mixed bag for me since May 12. I had plans for this summer. This year I had writing classes scheduled every month in my studio, and I am scheduled to teach four classes at the local community college in August. I had worked hard to attract good writers, who were also good instructors, to our area. I wrote articles about them for the newspapers and posted them online. I accepted registration fees and planned for snacks for the students.

In May our literary group held a writing conference, and I was involved in the planning, and more, for that event. I had not realized the stress I had taken on myself until two days after the conference. I started up my stairs from my studio and a sharp pain shot through my thigh. My left leg collapsed under me and I fell on the stairs. I was alone in my house and for a brief moment I was terrified. I thought I might have broken my hip. Although I couldn't put weight on my left leg, I didn't think anything was broken. 

The following day an  x-ray of my back showed no serious damage. Still, my hip and left leg hurt me like a bad toothache. I began treatment with my wonderful orthopedic massage therapist and my chiropractor. I was told I had periformis syndrome, a painful condition involving the periformis muscle in my low back. I was also told by my chiropractor that I had a slipped disc in my low back. Each of them gave me relief, but the relief didn't last. I was told not to sit for more than an hour. I was told to rest and learned that it could take 8 - 12 weeks for the muscle syndrome to heal. 

Meanwhile, I had become almost an invalid, unable to stand in the kitchen and make meals or load the dishwasher. I had to hire help to take out my garbage, sweep the floor, and do most of the menial chores I did every day. I didn't dare go downstairs because I wasn't sure I could come back up.

I admit this situation took a toll on my psyche. For the first time since Barry died, I felt helpless to care for myself. What was I going to do? Should I leave my home? Should I move to an assisted living facility? The previous self-assured woman who juggled duties and took on projects had become a fragile person I didn't recognize.

To make matters worse, one week after the fall on the stairs, I was exposed to a room full of perfume which triggered my multiple chemical sensitivity and created a respiratory illness. For four weeks I fought a sinus infection and then an ear infection with two rounds of  antibiotics and over the counter meds. I went to see my sister and she took such good care of me, which helped me in my healing. I recently had an x-ray of the hip and an MRI of my spine. I will likely begin a physical therapy protocol soon. So, you see why this summer has been a bummer.  Because of all the health problems, I have cancelled classes at Writers Circle for the summer.

Students gathered around the table at Writers Circle

Forced retirement was not on my radar, but I am beginning to get used to waking up with no schedule of tasks awaiting me. I feel like someone who has been carrying a heavy stone for a long time and didn't realize how much it weighed me down until I dropped it.

I made up my mind that I will do nothing but what is good for me, what I want to do, until I get over these setbacks. I decided to look forward to what the future holds for me and not look back. I have learned that I can re-invent myself as I did five years ago.

The new me will not try to multitask, not feel driven to accomplish too many goals. I accept my limitations and look forward to new experiences and challenges. As soon as I can walk without pain, breathe without effort, and get my energy level up to par, I know I will be back to seeing my friends, my family, and enjoying these beautiful mountains where I am so fortunate to live.