My Life Now

                                                                             

My life now is quite different from the life I led in Hayesville, NC, for the past thirty years. There I was out and about almost every day. If I wanted to go somewhere, I simply got into my car and drove to one of the small towns nearby, where I shopped, visited with a friend or simply stopped in a restaurant and ate alone. As a writer, I like to listen to those around me. I often get a line or an idea from some conversation. 

As a member of the NC Writers' Network - West, I had many friends among the locals. We often got together for a late lunch and had a good time talking and laughing for an hour or two. Some of us had no one at home to hurry back to, and we stayed even longer. 

I don't know anyone here in Roswell except my sister and my niece. The three of us often meet for a long lunch. I enjoy both of them. But I haven't made friends here. I joined the Georgia Writers Association, but their meetings are not near where I live, and they meet at night. With my physical difficulties in walking very far, I usually feel more confident when with someone than alone. But I haven't found a writing buddy who would accompany me. 

I don't drive at night in the city. I often get lost, and that is a frightening experience. All those years I lived in a rural town in the mountains, I had no fear of driving at night alone from my home to the surrounding towns. I knew all the curvy roads, all the landmarks, and when others would not drive at night, I had no problems. I don't see quite as well at night as I used to, but that was not a big problem then. 

So, I have found more things I can do alone at home. This spring, I am enjoying growing vegetables as well as flowers in my deck garden. 

My first tomato grown on my deck

Squash plant beside my little tomato

  My crookneck squash has been fun to watch. It has had large yellow blossoms, and now, I think it is going to make squash.

I live in a shady area surrounded by trees, which I love, but I only get the midday sun. One end of my deck is not covered. That is where my veggies grow. I have another tomato plant, a green pepper plant, a dill plant, and basil that are doing pretty well.

    

Basil is a member of the mint family and is known for its aromatic leaves and delicate flavor. Basil plants typically grow to be between 1 and 5 feet tall, depending on the variety, and I hope mine won't be too tall.

I am learning about growing basil.

Basil thrives in sunny locations with 6 to 8 hours of sunlight per day. My deck is not likely to get that many hours of sun.

Basil can also be grown in containers or raised beds, ensuring adequate drainage.

It's cold-sensitive and should be planted outdoors after the last frost. Mine is certainly grown in a container. I can't even walk on rough ground, and certainly cannot plant anything that needs to be watered and cared for.

I look forward to snipping off fresh young leaves for seasoning my cooking. I still cook some, but not every day. I try to prepare a dish that I can enjoy for several meals. The only thing I cook every day is my breakfast. I like a big breakfast of eggs, toast, sausage or bacon and a combo of grits and oatmeal. That is probably the largest meal I eat each day, but the second largest is my midday meal. I eat light at night. 

At my home in the mountains, I always had hydrangea and red geraniums on my deck. I bought a small hydrangea (see in the photo below), but it is not blooming very well for me. And the red geraniums are not blooming at all. Stu hung a planter on the railing of the deck in the sun, so maybe that will help.
                                              

                                                                                                 

Hydrangea between two geraniums that just won't bloom

Sounds at night remind me of my childhood.

Tonight I hear the cicadas singing, and it reminds me of the nights when I was a child and we could hear this sound from the swamp across the road on our neighbor's farm. My brothers told me it was frogs making that noise. But I feel sure what I am hearing tonight are cicadas. They were expected to be in Georgia in May. I feel sure they are close by. They don't eat leaves, flowers, fruit or produce, so my deck garden is safe.

They are a valuable food source for birds, and they can aerate lawns and improve water filtration into the ground. They even add nutrients to the soil as they decompose. I just learned all this. I only knew they sang all night. One evening when my little great nephew, Luke, was staying with us at our house in the mountains, he fell asleep on the sofa as he waited for his grandmother to pick him up. When he awakened suddenly and sat up, I asked, "What's wrong, Luke? You can't sleep?" He said, "No. The bugs are too loud."

He would not be able to sleep here tonight because the bugs are really loud.

That's all, from my solitary world in the city. I am blessed to be surrounded by nature. The ducks on the lake and the turtles sunning themselves on a log out on the water give me pleasure. To grow old in this setting is very special to me. I am thankful. 

Until next time, when you meet others, smile and say hi. It will make their day and yours. 

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Do you listen to or read books by Dr. Brené Brown? Gratitude

I am a fan of Dr. Brené Brown who speaks on vulnerability and shame. She also talks about gratitude and other things that help us with life’s problems. The following is an excerpt from one of her pages and in her words.

"There is a great quote by a Jesuit priest that says, “It’s not joy that makes us grateful, it’s gratitude that makes us joyful.”  Practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives.

Practice is the part that really changed my life, that really changed my family and the way we live every day. When I say practice gratitude, don’t mean “the-attitude-of-gratitude” or feeling grateful, I mean practicing gratitude."

Dr. Brown goes on to say, "These folks shared in common a tangible gratitude practice. Some of them kept gratitude journals. Some of them did interesting things like at 1,2,3,4 or 12:34 every day they said something out loud that they were grateful for in their lives."

One of the things Brown's family does is say grace at dinner. And so now, after learning about practicing gratitude, after grace they go around and everyone says something that they are  thankful for.

"What’s interesting," Dr. Brown says, "is when we first started, I thought my children were going to say, Oh, mom, are you experimenting on us? There was a little bit of that. But after we had done this for a couple weeks, even on those crazy, busy nights, when we were trying to get to soccer, piano and homework, if Steve and I said a quick prayer and start eating, my kids were like, Woah…what are you grateful for?”

….My son often says, I’m grateful for bugs. I’m grateful for frogs. But sometimes he’ll say, I’m grateful that you picked me up early. Or I’m grateful that I finally understand adjectives.”

End of excerpt.

When a friend of Brené Brown’s daughter lost her mother, the daughter said, “I’m grateful that my parents and family are healthy.”  I am sure many young people feel that, but how often do they say it?

I love this idea of saying out loud what we are grateful for each day. I often think about gratitude when I awake each morning. Years ago I kept a gratitude journal and wrote down five things each day for which I was grateful, but I plan to say out loud what I am grateful for. 

While life is hard now, I know we will one day see a brighter light. I am grateful for all the people in my life now that make every day better. I am a person who needs to be useful, and I am finding new ways to do that even when I am at home and physically isolating myself from the rest of the world.

I am grateful that I rescued a puppy who turned around and rescued me.

My six pound rescued puppy, Lexie, is now twelve pounds and still leaps and jumps like a pup.

What are you most grateful for at this difficult time?

2014 -- What will you accomplish this year?

Hi Blogging Friends,

Happy New Year to all of you. I hope this year you fulfill your goals and  accomplishments – submit for the first time, publish your first piece, publish that book you have been working on, join a writer’s group, take a writing class, read that book you have been wanting to read, start a book club, teach a class, mentor a student, learn to meditate, and begin to journal every day.

This is on the coast of New Brunswick and my goal is to get back there someday.

You can read my thoughts on the new year at www.readwave.com Search for my name and you will see several pieces I’ve posted there. Tonight’s is No Denial in 2014.

You are the best and I wish for you the best. Thanks for reading my blog.

Thanksgiving -- Then and Now

As with all things, there is a time of dormancy, a time of germination, a time of fruition and harvest. We must be patient with these things in our heart. We must develop patience and an open mind---a very open mind.

                                                      ---Julia Cameron

As Thanksgiving approaches this week, memories crowd my mind. I am taken back to when I was in my teens. My brothers and older sister, June, were married and had children. June and Stan had arrived for the holidays and would be with us all week.

Mother worked hard cooking for everyone, but it made her deliciously happy. Having her kids around lit up her life. Every meal was festive as we gathered around the dining table, not the smaller table where Gay and I usually ate with Mother and Daddy.

Stan, who was a native of South Dakota, had come into our family like a carpenter bee. He drilled through the barriers of diversity and made himself one of us. He tunneled into the hearts of my mother, my father and my brothers and they admired and adored him. Gay and I had fallen in love with him when we were little kids. He made us feel so special.

Our Thanksgiving dinner consisted traditionally of roasted turkey, a large pan of cornbread dressing with oysters, and one smaller pan for those of us who didn’t like oysters. June made a special cranberry relish, but I favored the canned jellied variety. Always a picky eater when I was a kid, I have changed somewhat, but am not too adventurous even now.

 If you like the fresh made cranberry sauce, you must read this post and see these wonderful pictures at My Carolina Kitchen.

My sisters-in-law, all good cooks, brought side dishes, casseroles, vegetables, and desserts. Salita made the best pies and cakes. With such an array of sweets, we often had a taste of each of them. Yvonne’s sweet potato casserole made with brown sugar could have taken center stage on the dessert table, but was ladled out beside the turkey and dressing. 

With the addition of a small table, our dining table seated fourteen adults. The younger children sat together in the family room. The women bustled around, in and out of the kitchen, making sure we had a correct number of places set with proper eating utensils and napkins. Someone took a head count for iced tea – sweet, of course. Nothing was formal at our house, but we didn’t use paper plates or plastic forks, not until many years later when the third generation proved too many for mother’s china and flatware collection.

After Barry and I married, we wanted to spend the holidays with my family and with his parents. After our meal with my folks, we climbed into the car and headed to Rockmart, Georgia about three hours away, where we had another large dinner cooked by his mother, Helen, who was as different from my mother as night is from day. Helen set her round antique table with lovely china, real silver, and cloth napkins. No boisterous children or loud conversation marred our meal. She prepared one dessert, usually a cake with ice cream and we ate that later, in the den, with coffee. We went to bed stuffed with food and with love.

Barry Beall and his mother, Helen Alexander Beall

Football was always a large factor at Thanksgiving. The men in my family were huge Georgia football fans. It was hard to tear them away from the TV if we happened to be eating at the same time the game was on. I can remember when they would have two TV sets on, watching two games at once. This was before DVRs.

Looking back, I realize how we took for granted the good life we had. We were all healthy and happy. We couldn’t have enjoyed a meal more, the laughter, and the closeness of loved ones. While I might have been aware that one or the other of my brothers’ wives was in a snit about something, I was grateful that all were on their best behavior and never marred our day of Thanksgiving.

Now they are gone, my parents, Helen, June and Stan, Yvonne, and three of my brothers. Now also gone is my husband, and I am left adrift to find thankfulness and gratitude where I can. But I do. I am grateful for all those wonderful memories, for the love I shared with my family, and I’ll always have that.

I am thankful for Gay, my youngest sister, who arrived today. Tomorrow we will join old friends for a traditional dinner of turkey and all the fixings. We will laugh and tell stories about the old days, and express our thanks for the years we have had together and the love we have for each other.

Life has changed. Everything is different, but I am thankful I can find joy in what is now.

I wish for you, my faithful readers, a happy Thanksgiving wherever you may be.

Something for my Gratitude Journal

Tonight I am grateful and must show my appreciation for a man who has worked all week around my house.  

This week the rain held off for a few days. My friend and handyman, John, had time to come and take care of all the things on my “to do” list. I told him he is worth his weight in gold. I can’t pay him what he is worth, however, but I know his bill will be reasonable. Since my husband passed away in 2009, John has been the person I turn to for help when I can’t do it myself. He is good at so many things, but I appreciate that he will clean my deck from top to bottom and take the time to find a non-toxic cleaner that won’t trigger my asthma.

He took my blower that I was about to toss because it won’t work anymore and tested it to find that only my battery needs replacing. Spiders had wrapped my house in their sparkling webs and had taken up residence in every crack or cranny. Tonight no spiders hide under the tall eaves of my deck. My outside lights come on now when anything moves in my yard. Thanks to John. My grill is cleaned from top to bottom and he gave me good advice for the future. Barry was the one who used the gas grill, but I plan to make use of it now.

One afternoon recently I stuck my hand into a wasp nest that was hidden under the railing of my steps. I called John who came, found the spray in the garage and took care of the wasps. Today he discovered a huge nest under the table on my upper deck. I am surprised I haven’t been stung, and thankful John wasn't stung. Besides his willingness to help me with such chores, John always has a smile on his face.

This is not what John does to make a living. He has a construction business. He laid the floors in my house and they are done beautifully. He added a room off my kitchen so I could move my washing machine and dryer upstairs when the stairs became too much of a chore for me. He is one of the most talented people I know. I can count on him when I have a problem. If he can’t fix it, he knows who to call. I love that John never says, “it can’t be done.” When I wanted a shower in my basement bathroom everyone I talked to said it couldn't be done. But when I talked to John he told me how it could be done, and now I have a shower in my downstairs bathroom.

I won’t give his name in this post because I haven’t asked his permission, but if anyone in the Hayesville NC area needs a hardworking man who can do almost anything, call me and I’ll put you in touch with John. 

Tops on My Gratitude List - AC

Think about all the things we take for granted today. I often thank God for air conditioning. If I knew the name of the person who invented AC, I'd also thank him.
Some have never lived without cool homes in summer, but I remember well when I was a child in the deep south on the farm. We had no AC and my room sweltered with the heat from the hot sun that beat down all day. I couldn't sleep. I sat on the foot of my bed,  my head on my arms in the open. window.
Not a breath of wind could I feel. No breeze moved the leaves on the big oak tree that sheltered our house. Memories of that time are as real as the humidity that wet my hair and the sweat that crawled down my sides under my pajama shirt. I was not born for the tropics.
That is why this past weekend  hit me like a blast from the past. My central air conditioning quit on Saturday around noon while I cooked fresh vegetables I'd picked up at the local produce stand. The heat from the stove turned my small kitchen into a sauna.

I checked the thermostat. Blank spaces greeted me. Nothing there at all. The silent unit squatted outside my window, stubbornly refusing to react to the Reset button. Push the red button - that was all I knew to do.

Rocky and I retreated to the basement. He panted like he had been on a long run. The floor was too hard for his old bones,  he didn't like the rug. I had to bring his bed down before he would be happy. The small window AC accompanied by a large fan kept me from taking my dog and heading for a motel. I was prepared to sleep downstairs, but a nice little storm that night cooled my bedroom enough for us to sleep in our own beds. 
I don't know how my parents lived in the heat of south Georgia half their lifetime without relief. I don't know how people worked on the farms all summer long with burning sun beating down on their bodies, with gnats and sweat in their eyes and on their faces. I don't know what I would have done if I had been a boy in my family. They endured the heat and worked all day long in the fields.

Daddy and Mother handled the heat of summer for years before getting air conditioning in our home in south Georgia. 

 

My mother didn't have it much better than the men. She cooked three large meals every day in a hot kitchen. On my Gratitude List - right up near the top - just behind my loved ones - is air conditioning.
I begged my heating and cooling company to come on Monday. They did. I think they realized I just couldn't take it any more. I'll put Dorman's on my Gratitude List now - right up behind AC.