Home for a wedding and visit with family

The holidays are over and I am back home. I had a great time with family at Christmas and down in south Georgia where I attended the wedding of one of my great nephews, Colby, the grandson of my brother, Max. The wedding was held at the First Baptist Church in Camilla, Georgia, the hometown  of Kathryn Stripling Byer, my friend, and the first woman poet laureate of North Carolina. My parents grew up in Pelham, Georgia which is in the same county.

The wedding was touching as the bride and groom had written their vows and spoke them to each other instead of the pastor saying the typical words spoken at most weddings. 

It was fun to see all my nephews dressed so nicely in their formal clothes. I usually see them in jeans or shorts. Saturday, the day of the event, was beautiful, but that evening turned cold. The reception, held at the old Shackleford house, a landmark, in Albany was overflowing with guests and many of the younger ones were outside dancing. Not liking crowds, I went outside in the cold, had someone bring me a chair and enjoyed talking with the handsome men in my family. I truly enjoyed the evening.

I had not been back to my hometown for a while and it is always surprising to see what has changed there. We had a good dinner on Friday night at a new restaurant, The Flint, in old downtown. We all hope this is the beginning of the city rising from the ashes.The owners came over, welcomed us and invited us to tour the large facility. With my hip and knee problems, I stayed in my seat and visited with another nephew's lovely girlfriend. She told me about Terry HoYum Yum sauce made there in Albany. She is CFO of the company. I'm sorry I didn't get some sauce to bring home.

But I did pick up some May Haw Jelly, one of my favorite foods when I was a child. Mother made the jelly every year from the tiny red berries that only grow in that area. I even found some syrup made from sugar cane which I can't get up here in the mountains. When I was a kid, I went with Mother to the cane grindings in our community each fall. We drank cane juice and always came home with lots of cane syrup. But here in the super market, I can only find maple syrup, and many brands made with corn syrup and artificial flavors. The popular syrup made in this area is sorghum syrup, but it is too strong for me.

I will share a few photos I made at the wedding. I am not the greatest photographer, but these are OK.

Groom, Colby Council,  with his lovely bride outdoors at the reception

Gay and Stu, having fun. Gay held my wine and my purse so I could take photo.
 She was very cold all evening, wore her coat, so you didn't see the beautiful dress she wore.

Glenda and Gay, great aunts of the groom

Three of my generation were present. My brother, Max, Gay and me. I missed my brothers and sister who are no longer with us. It was particularly sad when Max came in and walked down the aisle alone because his wife is ill and could not be there with him for their grandson's wedding. 

Flag Day, June 14

On Flag Day, June 14, 1964, I awoke anxious and teary. You would have thought I was on my way to the gallows. My beloved called me and all I could do was cry. "What in the world is wrong?" he asked.
"I don't know. I just can't stop crying."
That was how my wedding day began. I have heard of grooms passing out and bride's jitters, but I was a basket case. My sweet mother kept reassuring me that if I didn't want to go through with the wedding it was all right. But that was not my problem. I wanted to get married,  but I was terrified of getting married. What if I was making a huge mistake? Would my life be ruined?
But then I'd think about him and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

By the time I reached the First Methodist Church,  my anxiety had become nervous laughter. I couldn't stop smiling and laughing. The wedding took place at 3:00 PM. I barely remember the ceremony.

 I remember that I was doing well until my brothers came through the receiving line. They looked so serious -- almost as if they were attending a funeral. Then I began to bawl again.

What did Barry's mother and father think? They probably were afraid their son had married some kind of a mental case. Luckily they had known me for almost a year.

On that lovely sunny day, much like today -- which would have been our 47th  anniversary --I embarked on a journey with the kindest man, the wittiest man, a man who would protect me and do all he could to make me happy. What a journey with its ups and downs, its peaks and deep valleys that we traveled together never giving up on each other or our marriage, even when days were darkest.

I loved his family and he loved mine. We felt we had it all, and we did. We really had all that mattered.

Miracle of Love

                     for Barry

You brought me spring in winter.

The cold melted away,

as jonquils bloomed

and tulips tilted delicate edges
toward the sun.

You brought me sunshine
in the storm.
As dark clouds raced past,
you opened mirrors in blue sky
to reflect the butterflies.

You brought me youth when I was old,
you found my childhood self.
You touched my soul with tenderness,
a touch of love so deep
my spirit wept.

I wore many bridesmaid dresses from the time I was a teenager until I was in my twenties as my friends swept down the aisles to marry the men of their dreams. I wanted a church wedding, the white dress and all the trimmings, when my special day arrived, but I had no idea how much it would cost. I couldn't imagine my parents coming up with money for flowers, food, and fancy dresses. But Mother wanted that wedding for me and I'll never know where she found the funds. We were married in the First Methodist Church and my brother Ray escorted me to the altar because my father said he'd never given anything away and he wasn't about to start with me. He was joking, but, at the time I was hurt by his refusal to "give me away." With time I've gained a better understanding. I think he felt the experience would be way too emotional for him, a quiet and shy man, to handle. It was a lovely wedding I'm told. I cried all morning from "nerves" and then couldn't stop laughing like a ninny. What a mess I was! I'm sure my family and friends thought I'd lost my mind. I've seen brides and grooms on Funniest Home Videos faint dead away before they could utter the words I do. I suppose I should be grateful I didn't do that. In my white wedding gown tiered in lace and wearing a lace mantilla, I gazed at myself in the mirror as I waited to make the walk that would change my life. I felt like a butterfly fresh out of a cocoon, and just as fragile. Leaving home to live with a man I'd known for one year and promising to live with him the rest of my life? Had I made a horrible mistake? The year was 1964. We celebrated 44 years together in June.