Everybody Needs a Good Friend

Here it is Sunday again.
The weekend passed so quickly I hardly knew it. One of the best parts of this weekend was a visit with a former student of mine who is now one of my dearest friends. We both agreed we could have talked for many more hours if we had the time even though we don't see each other often.

Those are the friends we cling to in our lives and if we are lucky we never let them go. In my youth, I did not make the effort to hold on to friends, even those I thought about often, and I have some regrets about that. I can't change the past, but I do make a big effort to keep in touch with people I meet now, people who hit a note with me that resonates even when they are not near.

When we are bombarded with all the "bad news" of the world, and we might think that everyone is an enemy, if we are open to meeting others and listening to them, we see a different world. As my friend, Rebecca, and I discussed on Saturday, sometimes people are suspicious of generosity from others. They are skeptical of someone who is kind or giving. They wonder, "What does she want from me?"

I have experienced that reaction from writers when I reached out to them to help them promote their books or write an article about them. I've met some types who were so suspicious they refused my offer. As my personality type is one who doesn't get angry but feels pity for those people, I immediately wonder why they think that way. Could it be that their self-esteem is low and they can't imagine anyone wanting to do something for them without some payback?

Most writers I meet have many of the same issues with themselves as I do. We beat up on ourselves because we are not disciplined enough to write everyday. We don't submit our work. We never think it is ready to send out. We say we don't have time for our passion but will spend our time cleaning house, doing laundry and all the things we hate to do, while avoiding putting ourselves in a chair and picking up a pen or hitting the keyboard. 

We are not bad, lazy, or worthless people, and we need community with other writers to help us see that we all have similar problems. We have our needs that might not be exactly like those of others, but it helps to vent with fellow writers. 

So many of my good friends are students who took my classes in the past 8 years. In my classes we write about ourselves, share our stories and bond in a lasting way. Sometimes we cry or laugh out loud, but that is okay, too.  

Many of my friends are women I met when I took my first writing classes. For twenty years I have shared my sadness, my happiness, my successes and my failures with my fellow writers in my literary community. Some of my friends I've met through affiliation with North Carolina Writers' Network West. They don't live close to me, but we keep in touch. 

One of the highlights of this weekend was hearing the voice of a former student of mine, Staci Bell, as she called to tell me a poem and a flash fiction piece she has been wanting to place were both accepted for publication. One is for an anthology about wolves.

I am as happy for her as I would be if it were my writing that had been accepted. I know that feeling when a stranger reads your work and really likes it. When they like it well enough to publish it in a book or magazine to be read by many people, it feels like seeing your name up on a marquee on Broadway, especially when you have not had that before. 

Friends come in many ways and at any time. You never know how a person can influence your life, can help you through hard times, will need your help one day, and how much you can come to love them. Be generous to others, and they will surprise you with their own caring. 

My friends give to others in whatever way they can. 
My neighbor cooks once a week for a free noonday meal for those who need fellowship and nutrition for their bodies. Another friend, in her eighties, says cooking for others is her ministry. (To minister: to give service, care or aid; attend, as to wants or necessities.)

Maybe we can all ask ourselves what is our ministry to others? We don't have to go to church or have a calling from God to minister. 

I saw a little boy on Sunday Morning who lost his mother recently. He gives out tiny little toys to people on the street to see them smile. He just wants to make people smile and not be sad. We never know when the smallest thing can make a difference.(This story reminds me of the Little Drummer Boy)

My friends and other kind people give me hope that this world is much better than the TV news would have us believe. 
What do you think? Is human kind as bad as what is seen on television?  Do you think our parents thought the world was in deep trouble and feared for their children's future?

Stu Moring, family, friend, and fun

Who is the CAT IN THE HAT? No, it isn't Dr. Zeus. It is the Public Works Director of Roswell, Georgia. Most importantly, to me, he is husband to my sister, Gay. Stu is a part of a project of the Kiwanis club called "Roswell Read-In" where members and city officials read to kids in the library at the schools. This program is sponsored by Kiwanis.

I adore the above photo of this man who manages large projects and leads many employees who respect and enjoy working for him. He has won numerous awards. We attended a special ceremony last year. Stu was selected from candidates all over the United States as one of the top ten public works directors in the country. What an honor!

But what I love best about him is his joyous attitude, his enthusiasm, his genuine caring for those near him. His tender heart is as big as the circle of people who know and appreciate him. That is a big heart!

And he is fun. At Christmas, Stu is the official Santa. That has been a long, long tradition in our family. Some years ago when we lived in the same city, I enjoyed watching him in community stage plays. He sings, acts, and tells funny stories. He and Gay are big fans of live theatre. Thanks to those two, BB and I have seen some excellent productions in Atlanta.

His sport is running. He ran a marathon just a few years ago and he runs in the Peachtree Road Race almost every year. Running helps relieve stress, he says, and his job is packed with it.

I wasn't surprised to see Stu Moring sitting with kids and reading Dr. Zeus. When he is not working for the city, he is often working for Fulton County Charities, his church or another organization that helps the people in his community. He used to read for the blind. Maybe he still does that. I can't keep up and he seldom talks about his volunteer work.

While the country is trembling in fear of what will happen to us with the bad economy, Stu and Gay will hold out a helping hand. They believe in paying it forward.

In 2006 Gay met a woman who struck her as a person who could get back on her feet with some help. She wanted to help this Katrina victim who was losing her flooded home in New Orleans.

Gay and Stu put together a list of everyone they knew, wrote letters and asked everyone they knew to donate a small amount each month. People responded just like the Morings did, with generous hearts. That fund helped save this family from homelessness. Gay kept donors informed of the family's progress for over a year.

Good people seldom make the news these days. Bad people are on our TV screens, front page of magazines and newspapers, and bad news permeates our media. We all know of people like Stu and Gay who reach out to help others.

Wouldn't it be great if we had a page in each newspaper headed: Good News and Good People? If we did, I am sure the Morings would make the news.