Thanks to those whose shoulders I've stood on.

Quote from Maria Shriver: This week, thank those whose shoulders you stand on. Honor those who came before you. Be grateful for those who paved the way for the life you have now. And, if you don’t know their stories, then ask them. Or look them up. Read about their lives or watch a documentary, like my daughter did. One of the best ways to honor someone’s legacy is to learn about it, and then carry their story forward in your life and in others.

I stood on the shoulders of my sister, June, who would not accept that her only alternative was to marry and be a housewife.
She wanted to earn her own money, make her own decisions and she did. She earned a scholarship to college and then helped send me to college.

June Council 

Without June's encouragement and support, I don't think I would have my B.S. in Education. My parents' hope was to have their seven children complete high school. College was too large a goal and seemed much too far to reach for my father.

June was taken under the wing of her art teacher, and she often spent weekends with the teacher's family. My sister was determined not to marry a local farm boy and work as hard as farmers' wives worked. She wanted a home like her art teacher had and lovely things she saw there.

June finished two years at GSCW (Georgia State College for Women, before she came home and went to work to help the family. Soon she was employed at Turner Air Force Base in Albany.  By that time, the family had a new house and life was better for everyone.

I admire her because she never forgot her little sisters and was determined that we would have more opportunities than she had.  In summer, we spent weeks with my sister and her husband, Stan, who was an officer in the Air Force. We saw a more sophisticated lifestyle and a home with finer things.

At their house, art by famous painters hung on the walls. On Friday evenings, Stan grilled a large steak. Although only he and June and Gay and I sat at the dining table, candles burned in the center giving a soft glow to our little circle, making the crystal and silver shine.  Being there made me feel warm and loved. My sister showed me a life that I could have if I wanted.

Women living today have stood on the shoulders of the women who came before us. My mother showed me how to love unconditionally and how to appreciate important things in life that money could not buy - love, family, generosity and compassion for others. She taught me acceptance, a hard lesson for me. She did not enjoy the frugality she had to endure, but she had chosen to help her husband follow his dream and she did all she possibly could to make that dream come true. Without her, he and his sons would not have been successful, because she was willing to sacrifice for her family. I am thankful that she prospered as well when the family business paid off. 


I have stood on the shoulders of my sister, Gay. 
Her giving heart, her genuine caring for others, has been an example to me. She is an unbelievable artist and has inspired me for many years. Recently she inspired me even more when she decided to get in physical shape by doing something she loves -- dancing! When many women younger than she are complaining of aches and pains, are sitting in front of their television sets or sitting around a card table, she attends classes three times each week where she dances for hours. In a short time her endurance and stamina have grown as well as her self confidence and renewed interest in her improved physical appearance. I am trying to emulate her now. Every time I look at her, see how happy she is, I am overjoyed.

My painting instructor, my first poetry teacher and my friend, the first woman poet laureate of North Carolina, are in the same category--women who paved the way for me to journey on to where I am today. Without them, I would not have achieved much of what makes me the woman I am today.

Do you have women who helped pave the way for you, or gave you a boost to achieve your goals?
Are there women in your past who changed your life?

Maria Shriver wants to be like my mother.

Dear God, please help me remain calm, strong, classy and dignified, no matter what life throws my way. Amen.  --Maria Shriver

This prayer posted by Maria Shriver today reminds me of what my mother might have said.
She raised my sisters and me to stay above the fray, to keep our heads when all about us were losing theirs. When I came home and told my mother that a girl on the school bus wanted to fight. Mother said, "Girls fighting is low class, trashy, behavior."  This from a farm wife who was unsophisticated, but had been raised with good morals and values. 

LOIS COUNCIL

I still feel that way and when I see high school girls fighting, it turns my stomach with disgust. I feel sorry for them that they had no one to teach them how to behave.

From what we see on television and in movies, our society in the United States has become "low class, trashy" in many ways. Civil, dignified behavior is absent from our leadership in Washington, and it has become popular with the people on the street, the children in school and in homes. We have become a "dog-eat-dog" culture where we say and do anything that behooves us, and we care not for those who get hurt. 

It seems our culture is missing empathy. We only think of ourselves and we can't or won't put ourselves in the shoes of others, try to understand how they feel. Alan Alda who is an expert on communication says we don't listen. I think we all know that. We are thinking about what we want to say, and we don't hear others speak.

JUNE COUNCIL

My sister, June, was the perfect southern, genteel woman who could hold her own with anyone who was disagreeable or who was being a problem. She never used a curse word, a vulgarity, or called anyone names. She had such command of vocabulary that the average person hardly realized that he had been shut up and admonished by the best until he walked away.

June was strong, calm, classy and dignified no matter what life threw at her. I strive to be like her, but I often fail. 

We need more role models like June Council and my mother, Lois Council. Perhaps that would bring back classy, dignified deportment and rid us of the trashy, low class behavior prevalent in our world today.

Final Goodbye

Lee, my niece and writer of this touching post, Saying Goodbye, expresses the pain of burying your mother. She talks about the mundane and the deep feelings of not wanting to  let her go.

http://littleleeway.wordpress.com/2014/11/10/saying-goodbye/

Her mother was my sister, June. For days I've thought of her and what I owe her for the life I lead today. I've thought of what I can say at the burial, if I can hold myself together enough to talk. There is  no way to sum up the long life of such a special person. I will tell about my admiration for her from the time I was a small child. 

Imagine that you have someone living  in your house who is as pretty as the movie stars on the  covers of the magazines. And imagine that she loves you dearly and will do anything for you. So different looking from my sweet mother who had lost her figure long before I was born, but just as loving as my mother and as kind and caring for her young siblings. 

She was meant to have a happy life because she sacrificed so much for others, but as a young woman with two teenage children, she faced the death of her husband. Her world fell apart and the weight of raising the kids alone seemed overwhelming. She had not  held a job for fifteen years. 

She was a resilient woman who persevered under grueling circumstances. The family had to move where she could find work that  would support her family. The children didn't fare well in the new school and June had to rethink her situation again. 

All I wanted to  do was save her from the overpowering grief and sorrow that had stolen my sister's smile, her love of life. But I could not fix her problems. Now I know that grieving is a personal and private matter that no one can ease  for another. 

She raised her  girls and they are both doing well. She finally found another man that she could love and who adored her. But their happiness was short lived. Less than ten years of marriage before her health deteriorated. She knew when it was time to go, and she passed away with her family around her.

Now we must say a final goodbye. I can hardly bear it.

My sister, June

My Tribute to My Sister

Friday, December 14, we celebrated my sister June with a lovely service at St. David's Episcopal Church in Roswell, GA. June was fifteen years old when I was born. As in my older brother's funeral service, my words about what June had meant to me were used by the Rector.
I was surprised both times that my letters were considered worthy to use as a tribute. I had written an email about June's passing to friends and copied it to Gay and Stu, sister and brother-in-law, who  shared it with those presenting the service.

I'll share it with you.

Our family will never be the same. She was my second mother when I was small and my dear friend and sister as an adult. She bought me my first book, my first record, the Nutcracker Suite, and took me to my first movie.

She was Santa Claus to Gay and me, paying for gifts at Christmas that my parents couldn't afford. She rocked me to sleep when I was a baby and taught me to say my prayers. She read to Gay and me each night and I'll never forget, Wynken, Blynken, and Nod, one night set off in a wooden shoe...

June was a person loved by all who knew her. Even the staff in the hospitals and assisted care places, fell under her spell which she cast with a beautiful smile and genuine interest in others. She was the person I wanted to grow up to be. She always told me she was proud of me, and her expectations made me a better person.

If you have a sister or had a sister, you might understand how deeply I feel this loss. I appreciate the caring, meaningful cards I've received.

Tell us about your sister.