Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. ...Oprah Winfrey
I admire Oprah Winfrey. When we hear the difficulties she faced in her life, the jobs she didn't like, and the time it took to be able to control her own destiny, it is amazing that she now runs her own network, she founded a school for girls in Africa and interviews the most famous people in the world. She is one of the most wealthy people, not just women, in the world. But her happiness comes from her work, I believe.
Her story reminds me of how long it took me to reach a place where I can do what I want to do. I will never be famous or rich, but it feels good to be working and doing what I enjoy. I owe some of this now to the pandemic we are all enduring.
After teaching children for fifteen years, I took a sabbatical and tried being a full-time housewife or homemaker.
I don't like housework but have always done it because I had to do it. I had a husband and a house I loved, but the mundane work of laundry, cleaning, and mowing the grass did not fulfill my need to do something that made me feel worthwhile. I am not a great home decorator or designer or even a great cook. I had no children and my sweet husband ate anything I put on the table. He was not a big eater and was just as happy with a peanut butter sandwich as he was with a five-course meal.
I had been a caregiver for my mother for a number of years, but she did not live with me and she had a caregiver with her most of the day. I found an art teacher and learned to oil paint on canvas. I loved it and soon my walls were filled with my paintings, framed and very pretty. It was a hobby I enjoyed, but I wanted to do more. I began teaching my sister and my friend, Linda, to paint miniatures in my home on my dining room table. What fun that was!
Linda went on to be a terrific painter and continues to paint after all these years. My sister was already an artist and has become a sculptor. I have one of her pieces in my living room today.
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| Bad photo but beautiful art |
Tired of being home day after day while Barry traveled three days a week, I began working for my brother-in-law, Stu, who is an engineer and ran an office in Albany, Georgia for a company with a home office elsewhere. I signed on to work from nine until two Monday through Friday as his secretary. I had become proficient at keyboarding and using a computer. I felt useful and liked being with people even if there were only three of us in the office.
Stu is a procrastinator and often his time got away from him. He would ask me to write a letter or a report for him about the time I was supposed to leave. I didn't mind, however, working an hour or more later than 2:00 PM. I just accepted that as part of my job. I didn't make any more money, but I wanted to help Stu. He was a good employer.
I enjoyed working downtown, going to restaurants for lunch, and interacting with other people. At the time, I did not realize that I am a people person. I become energized when I am with or talking to others.
When Stu's office closed and he and Gay moved to Atlanta, I was back home again alone on the farm with my horse and my dog. In the early 90s, I began looking for something to do.
I took another part-time job as a secretary for the district manager of State Farm Insurance. I worked for her for five years, and we became good friends. The agents in her district often called and when my boss was not in, they talked to me about their gripes, their frustrations, or complaints. I was a good listener.
I liked the people, but my workplace made me ill. Shortly after I came on board, the manager built a new office with a much better setup for my office and hers, but I have multiple chemical sensitivity and the new carpet, the paint, and other chemicals I breathed in at the new place had a terrible effect on my health. I bought an air purifier for my office but still, there were days when I just felt I had to lie down and sleep because I was so fatigued I could not concentrate. I had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia soon after taking this job. I loved my boss and I felt more like I was helping my friend than I was working for her.
Barry and I moved away from Albany in 1995. I missed my friend, but not her office.
The worst job I had after leaving teaching was a year of selling auto products for our family business. I was a woman in a man's world and many of the good old boys in the dealerships of south Georgia made sure I was not welcome. One day I awoke, dressed, and prepared to leave for a day-long drive out into the rural region that was my itinerary. Suddenly, I began to cry. I was making a good salary and the work was certainly not hard, but I hated it. The people I met were not always friendly or kind and, although I was doing a good job for the company, I was not happy. I turned in my resignation.
Looking back I see that I worked at what I didn't like and thought I would never work in what I did like.
But fate intervened using my husband and my brother, Hal. Our family manufacturing plant had been sold. We moved to the mountains of western North Carolina, I met Nancy Simpson and soon I found my calling.
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| Nancy Simpson, poet, teacher, my mentor |
Once I became a part of the North Carolina Writers' Network-West, a program of the state organization, and became friends with my mentor and teacher, Nancy, I found the happiness and purpose I had always needed and wanted. I began publishing my writing and volunteered to be a county representative for NCWN-West. I volunteered to do the publicity for NCWN-West.
Nancy gave me my first teaching opportunity at the John C. Campbell Folk School. From then on I taught there and at Tri-County Community College as often as I could. I met the most interesting people in my classes and learned something from each of them. My students have published books and one man, a retired dentist, said after taking my class he was going back to school to study writing. Many of them are still good friends of mine, and we keep in touch by email or on Facebook.
The pandemic could have been horrible for me with the enforced isolation. My dear Barry is gone now. I miss having him to talk with and to laugh with.
But, thanks to Zoom, I see people every week in my classes. We have interesting moments of conversation and find humor in what is shared. Last year I taught three six-week classes online and this year I will begin my third series of classes on April 20. While most people my age are happily retired with no need or wish to work outside the home, I still look forward to working with people and doing what I can to make their life as good as mine.
It is true that we often must do what we have to do before we can do what we want to do. And there can be times when we want to give up, stay in a job or place where we are not happy, but if we persevere in search of reaching our goals or making our dreams come true, we can one day have what we want.
