Talk to your older relatives before they are gone. They have great stories.

Sunday is almost over and I am just getting to my computer. I hope you all had a great day. The sun shone here, and it was a nice break from all the rain.

I gave myself permission (yes, sometimes I have to do that) to while away my afternoon watching a movie on Netflix. I kind of napped some, too.

Tonight is the big Oscar’s night on TV and I am not big on watching award shows. Tomorrow all the shows will encapsulate the most interesting moments and that leaves me with more time tonight.

I do have a little interest however in this year’s show. The woman I most admire these days is Jane Fonda. http://www.vogue.co.uk/article/jane-fonda-red-carpet-style  

She is 80 and looks like she is thirty. Just this afternoon, as I was going through boxes, I pulled out one of Jane’s exercise tapes. I couldn’t do those exercises when I bought it and surely could not do it now. So it will go with all those other useless things I am ridding myself of and I won’t look back.

I not only admire Jane Fonda for keeping herself fit, but she has not given into ageing or the presumptions we Americans have about ageing. 

She is still working and stars in a television show, Grace and Frankie on Netflix. She keeps herself relevant to the times. Isn’t that what all of us want as we age? Not to be forgotten or to become invisible, but to be listened to and contacted when we can make a difference.

So many times I see younger people with an older relative or parent, and they never listen to the older person nor do they ask for his input. The younger ones talk loud and laugh and make so much noise that the older person can’t be heard. They show no respect nor interest in wisdom that could be important to them in the future.

My father used to leave the dinner table when my grown brothers began telling their stories. We all laughed, and everyone talked loudly. He would go into his bedroom and watch television or read. Some of us criticized him for doing so, but I understand him better now that I am near the age he was then. He was left out of the conversation completely, and had difficulty hearing and understanding. Mother sat there and smiled, but I am sure now that she was not understanding everything either.

As we get older most of us prefer smaller groups and being with people whom we can exchange ideas and opinions. Our hearing becomes impaired, and our voices are not always as strong as those who are younger. When older people have difficulty hearing they can become isolated and shut themselves away from the world.

I urge anyone who has a parent still living to go to them and ask them to tell you about their youth. You must be genuinely interested, however, or you will not pay attention. I think it is best to ask detailed questions to get your relative thinking about a time or a place that will provoke more memories. If possible use a small recorder so you don't forget important details.

I often ask my older brother, almost 89 now, to tell me about our family before I was born. I learn the most surprising things.

Two of my Council cousins - she is over 100 years old.

Most of my writing classes are designed for writers who want to share their life stories. I am amazed at the lives my students tell about in their memoirs. We all have unique stories, and they will not be told unless we tell them. In the coming months I will be teaching again and I look forward to hearing more of those interesting tales.

Have you written any stories about your life that others would find interesting and unique?

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