Hope  your Thanksgiving was wonderful. Mine was great. I spent the day with my sister and we were invited to the home of my niece,  Lee and her husband, Dave, where he cooked the most beautiful and delicious turkey you ever saw. Dave enjoys cooking and every time we go there, Dave cooks. All of us chipped in and furnished side dishes to the turkey. I made my usual cornbread dressing and gravy. Lee made a scrumptious broccoli casserole. Gay, my sister, made an old fashioned lemon meringue pie and roasted vegetables. Dave made green beans and mashed potatoes as well.

You can imagine how stuffed we were when we finished. It was one of the nicest days I have had lately. Lee and Dave's grown-up son, Will, was home from college, sporting a mustache. I looked at this fine young man and remember when he was born and how loved and wanted he was. His parents are so proud of him and I am proud of him as well. He will be twenty very soon. Gay and I were happy he spent the entire time with us, but he did have his phone and a football game on TV. I'm sure that helped.

I am grateful for my loved ones who include me in their holidays. I will never stop feeling guilty for how Barry and I stopped going up to his Mother's house for Christmas when she became too old to drive down to our house in south Georgia. Young people get so busy with their lives they don't think about older relatives. We were ignorant of what she needed, but now I know what her life was like. She lived alone and we were five hours away. She never complained or asked for anything. Helen Beall was an independent woman right up to the day she died.

I think the problem might be in how you raise your kids. Because she was so independent and never asked anything of her sons, they didn't think about her needs. She had no daughters. My mother had four sons, but I don't think they would have skipped something they wanted to do in order to drive five hours to spend time with her, especially after she lost her short term memory and could  not carry on a normal conversation with them. When some of my brothers came out to visit with Mother and Daddy,  they went into the room with my father and watched sports. Their wives spent the afternoon with my mother.

A son is a son 'til he takes a  wife. A daughter is a daughter all of her life. (Irish saying)

Sounds like I am  putting down men, but I am not. Some men are totally devoted to ailing parents. I think my nephew, Will, will always be there for his parents. He is a compassionate person even at twenty. We have to guide young people in the way they should go so they understand the needs of the  elderly or ill and not be so self-centered or afraid of dealing with the possible loss of a parent that they ignore them completely.

Another fine man who is there for his mother when she needs him is my nephew, Jon. He has also been very good to me. When he comes to my house he immediately asks what can he do for me. He insists on taking care of anything I need while he is visiting. So there are men who see when they are needed even if no one asks them.

I thought it was interesting that my father, when he was in his eighties and made the decision to stop driving, told his sons that they were to drive him to his doctor visits and look after him. He said to  them, "Glenda took care of  your mother, now you can take care of me." And they did as well as they could. One of them was with him in the hospital room late at night when he suffered a  respiratory arrest. Another brother was with  him late at night when he died.

Maybe men do better at taking care of men and women do better taking care of women. What do you think? I know I would not have been comfortable caring for my father if he needed long term care. We never had a close relationship.

However, as  I  told some of my  nephews when their father was very ill, "The Council family takes care of parents when they are old or ill." Family is important to us and I am glad I have dear family that loves me and that I love. I am very fortunate. I know that is not true for everyone. This Thanksgiving, I  am most grateful for family and also for my little Lexie who brings me much joy.