Self-Care in the time of COVID

Soothing scene of a local golf course in winter

I have been a busy and active person the past week.

I went down to Roswell to work with my sister, Gay, and her husband, Stu, finding appliances for the apartment we are creating at their house. I will be able to go down there and stay for longer periods of time when I have my own space with a kitchen, bedroom, and bath. Lexie will have her pet door and fenced area and that will make things much better for Gay and Stu and for me. They take up their area rugs when we visit them now.

I have gone down more this past year because I can't visit with my friends here at home. Although we have been vaccinated, we are still susceptible to being quarantined if we are exposed to anyone who was around another who was exposed. My friend was quarantined for fourteen days when she was exposed at a church group meeting. 

I and many of my friends are limiting ourselves to family only and only those in our family who have been vaccinated. These past two weeks have brought a huge surge in infections and deaths in my little county here in the mountains. Few people are wearing masks when going out to restaurants and other gatherings. I don't understand the thinking of these folks, but I can only take care of myself as best I can.

Today I read an article on Self-Care and decided to make a purposeful goal of doing better at self-care. 

"Just because a behavior is good for you doesn’t make it self-care," explains Brighid Courtney, of Boston, a client leader at the wellness technology company Wellable and a faculty member at the Wellness Council of America (WELCOA). "You need to get some sense of gratification out of it for it to be self-care. Although activities such as running or meditating may be good for your overall health and well-being, if you hate them, then they are not considered self-care.” (If you do find those activities energizing and fulfilling, however, they are potential self-care practices.)

My doctors and Physical Therapists tell me I should walk more. 

Believe me, I would love to walk, but I have horrible pain if I am on my feet for very long and it is pain that does not go away when I stop walking. I enjoy going to a pool and walking in water because that doesn't hurt me, but now with COVID, I don't feel safe going to the pool with strangers. I know you can't catch the virus from water, but those other folks are breathing the warm air that I will breathe, and who knows what they might be spreading? 

Courtney also tells us your self-care routine should make you a better version of yourself. “My rule of thumb is, as long as the activities that you choose are adding to your well-being and are not detrimental to the other areas of your life, then there is a benefit,” Courtney says. “You are better suited to take care of others, foster strong relationships, be resilient, and balance personal and professional responsibilities.”

I totally agree with Courtney. My problem is the things I enjoy and relish in my self-care are mostly sedentary activities. 

Write it down

She suggests we write a list of things we can do for ourselves. Mine will include getting enough sleep, eat at normal mealtimes, spend no more than twenty minutes at the computer before standing and moving around. 

She tells us to "Start by writing down as many things as you can think of that bring you joy, whether it’s the color purple, receiving back rubs, springtime, certain smells, or essential oils."

I do love back rubs and when I go to see my sister, she gives me back rubs. Another reason I will enjoy spending more time there. 

Self-care is more than taking care of your physical health we are told.

“Just eating healthy isn’t enough anymore. Things are moving so fast around us that we need space to self-care and slow down to rest from all the busyness in our lives.” 

I can agree with the slowing down part and when I am home alone, I don't spend my time cleaning my house or working in the yard, but I stay busy with cleaning out files, organizing my writing, going through books to decide which ones I should give away and which ones I just can't part with. 

I enjoy being with people, especially like-minded people such as my writer friends. After an hour or two with them, I am high on life. Did you know that singing is also a way to get high on life?

"Turn up the radio in the car or start crooning in the shower. No matter how out of tune you are, singing can make you feel happier. Choral members who were surveyed said singing put them in a better mood and made them feel less stressed. Singing also can be good for your breathing and posture, as well as your heart and immune system."

Oxytocin is a hormone made in your hypothalamus that causes feelings of love and closeness. When Barry and I sang in the church choir, I floated out on a cloud after rehearsals. I thought it was because I simply enjoyed the people who were there, but now I know it is the singing that changed things in my brain.

Oxytocin improves your mood. Studies show that singing increases oxytocin which gives us a warm, loving feeling.
“All closeness, positive communication, and overall good emotions are connected to oxytocin,” says integrative wellness specialist Frank Lipman MD.

Telephoning Friends

On my list of self-care goals is taking time to call old friends. Although the phone call is not as satisfying as person-to-person meetings, it is good to hear the voice of those who love us and those we love.  Many families meet on Zoom, but my relatives are not keen on that. So, we try to talk on the phone when we can find the time. 

My mother is famous for saying "Don't worry about it."

How I wish I had inherited her calm mind. I get something on my mind that I need to do or don't know what to do, and I get "monkey mind" where thoughts just jump around and won't settle after I get in bed at night. Years ago I was given a small white pill that helped that, but now doctors will not prescribe this for me (or anyone) it seems. For fifty years it worked for me and many others, but now it has been decided it is dangerous. Even my pain doctor will not prescribe it. 

So my self-care attempt is drinking chamomille tea or taking an over-the-counter  medicine that helps me sleep. Sleep is absolutely necessary if you have fibromyalgia as I do. 

One more self-care item for me is to get into my car with Lexie and take a long slow drive on the back roads and hollows here in the Appalachians. We stop and take a very short walk when we find just the right place. That helps de-stress me and is good for her. 

I hope you, my friends and readers, take good care of yourself in the coming week. Let me know how you self-care and how COVID has affected your self-care.

Visit my Writers Circle around the Table site and check out the Roger Carlton page.  www.glendacouncilbeall.com  

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