Women of the fifties

All weekend I have been pondering what to write about on this site. Today while reading a preview of Grantchester, a series I like, published on public TV, I read an interview with one of the new and younger stars. This is what she said about her character, a journalist in the late 1950s.

LAUREN CARSE:

I love how confident and self-assured she is, because I think it was quite unusual for a woman to be that way in the FIFTIES.

I know many of my readers were young in the fifties as was I. In 1958, I graduated from high school and went off to college. Sadly, I had wrecked my friend's car in July, hit a car that pulled out in front of me, and fractured vertebrae in my back. My mother insisted I see her doctor, a surgeon, who decided to have me wear a metal back brace from my chest to my lower back. I know now that it was the worst mistake we could have made. I entered college in September wearing this brace and wearing clothes made by Mother from patterns that had no waist line. The blouses were straight from shoulders to hem line, about mid hip.

I had no confidence in myself. I felt I looked like some weird person who could not bend at the waist. In fact, I could not bend at the waist. I felt ugly.

But, I met girls in my dorm who were very confident and self-assured. One of them was my suite-mate, Peggy D. She said she was from Washington, DC and was the daughter of a high ranking officer in the military. She had grown up moving from one city to another and from one school to another. She was a pretty girl with long black hair. She had a nice shape, rounded but not over weight. In fact, Peggy was as tall as I was, physically strong and extremely intelligent. I often wondered how she ended up in an all-girl school in Milledgeville, GA. She talked very little about her family, and I realize now that I don't know anything about them.

Our first year at Georgia State College for Women, I wanted to be independent and break rules, feel free to do things I had never done at home, but I lacked the courage to rebel. Peggy bought cigarettes, and at night she persuaded me to sit in our open windows and smoke. My sweet roommate, Catherine, a preacher's daughter, thought we were going to hell in a hand basket, I'm sure. Catherine was a very good girl who followed authority without question.

I had not known anyone quite like Peggy in my sheltered life on the farm, and I was intrigued by her. She soon had a boyfriend from the military college across town. We had strict rules as freshmen as to when and where we could go. Peggy often left the dorm before dark, met her boyfriend, and persuaded me to open the door at the end of our hall, next to her room, and let her in after curfew. No one knew I did that except for our roommates, and they never told on us.

Peggy and I became best friends and signed up to share a room our sophomore year. While we were freshmen, she introduced me to a friend of her boyfriend. I was still in my back brace, but this young man, Richard, wanted to meet me. For the next two years, he and I were a couple. Both Richard and Peggy's boyfriend were officers at the military school. My life was good. I made many friends at GSCW, and I should have stayed there until I graduated.

Peggy did not lack confidence in herself. She planned to go to medical school, and I believe she did become a doctor and lived out west. We lost contact after I transferred to the University of Georgia.

I was a young teacher here. I don't remember why I had red hair.

I knew other girls who went on to good careers, but many simply found a husband and settled down as they were expected to do. Sadly, some left college to get married and later were divorced with children and it was not possible to get their education. I am happy to find some of my college friends now, in retirement, have the chance to follow their dreams, to become artists, writers and work in other fields.

I became an elementary school teacher and taught in one school in Albany, GA for five years. It soon became obvious to me that this career was not my cup of tea. I was too empathetic and the children who had home problems or reading difficulties I could not help them with, kept me awake at night. My husband wanted me to quit because he worried about my mental state. Teaching at the public school depressed me. That was also the time when my mother needed me most.

I did continue teaching, but as a partner in a private kindergarten (Humpty-Dumpty) where I chose what I taught, and my five-year old kids brought me joy. I have come to know that owning my own business and being in charge of what I do is what brings me joy. I had that opportunity in the mid-seventies and again when I opened my writing studio in 2010.

Young women in the past several decades are offered many and various opportunities to pursue. Some of those careers are more difficult for women. I have been told that women in medical schools face a tough uphill battle. The men students often ridicule them; try to make them feel they have no right to be there.

I make a big effort to see women doctors. They usually understand my needs and my concerns better than men. Some of the women docs, especially the younger ones, are defensive, and I think it is because of the struggles they face proving themselves in medical school. Women have been considered caregivers, nurturers and subservient to men, so when a woman proves she can and wants to take the responsibility of being the doctor or lawyer or take a position in leadership, she faces hurdles men do not face. Some husbands do not cooperate when their wives want a career. I have seen the hurt that causes.

I often wonder if, when I was young, I had the self-confidence I now have, what might I have done with my life. I just have to make up for those years by doing what I am doing today. 

How was your self-confidence when you were young?

Please send me your thoughts and let's have a conversation. It is easy to leave a comment. If you have an email address, you can leave a comment, or you can respond as anonymous. Your comment will not publish right away because I moderate comments to be sure we don't have spam. But I read each comment and every day I check the comments to see what you have said.