At a crossroads in my life, I am thinking about what I want for my last act. What do I want to do with my one precious life? Whatever strikes me as useful and valuable.
In 2009, my husband and companion of 45 years passed away. I had to decide: What do I do with my life and who am I now? I opened my writing studio in 2010. It was the most satisfying work I have done since I was in my thirties. I discovered the teacher in me had never gone away, but teaching adults who were happy to be there and who enjoyed being in my classroom exhilarated me.
Bringing good poets and writers from far away to our little town gave me a special joy. Many of our local writers feel they can't travel long distances to attend workshops and conferences in large cities. Writers Circle Around the Table gave them the experience of meeting someone, learning from them and connecting in a way that will be beneficial for the rest of their lives.
I didn't keep a record of how many students passed through my doors in the past ten years. Some became lasting friends like Barbara Gabriel, who moved across the country and continued with her writing, travel and started a travel blog. Barbara is a woman who makes a difference wherever she goes. While in our area, she started a Big Sister group. She is smart, interesting and capable of doing what she wants to do.
Ageing is challenging at times. But most of the women I know face problems like taking care of an ill spouse, loss of a loved one, facing their own illness with the wisdom gained over all the years of their lives. My friend, Estelle, in her nineties, is still working on that book about her life she intends to leave for her children. I spent the afternoon with her recently and brought home tidbits of historical knowledge that I can use in writing about my parents, things I had not found on Google.
Another friend who has lived with chronic pain for most of her life and authored a book on the subject, volunteered to facilitate a poetry critique group. She is a well-published poet and is using her knowledge to help others. She has taken on responsibility in her third act that she did not have to accept.
One of my adult students in his seventies has recently become a columnist for his local newspaper. He had never been a writer or journalist before he retired. His articles are creating interest in his county and town, but also from my readers as I publish them on: www.glendacouncilbeall.com
His most recent post was on the Birth of the Constitution. One reader said it should be published in a large publication where more people would read it.
While this country is obsessed with youth, their music, their morals or lack of, their clothes and all the new technology, women and men in their seventies and older are stepping out and proving that age is not a stop sign on the road of life. No one wants to be discounted because of age. They know they have grown better with age. Most of us finally feel free to pursue our dreams and be our best selves, like one of my favorite people who loves to dance and now in her seventies, she is dancing three times each week and has been asked to participate in a program where she will do 25 dances in one day. And she dances in heels! Wow!!
Hilary Clinton, age 71, and her daughter have collaborated on a book about Gutsy Women. Chelsea used a computer but Hilary wrote in long hand. Together they accomplished a highly praised book I want to read. We can not let technology hold us back. Even younger people are frustrated with much of what we are supposed to know about technology. Some young people cannot read cursive writing. That is a handicap to my way of thinking. They are having to learn or struggle with the failure of what our school system imposed on them.
Adult children sometimes try to put their ageing parents in a box. They have preconceived ideas that an older person's ideas are no longer relevant or important. They shame their mothers and treat them like children. That really angers me.
In a recent post Maria Shriver said older women she interviewed said they feel more confident as they age, and they would not go back to their younger selves if they could. I feel the same way. Life after fifty has been the best part of my life. I would never want to go back to the shy, insecure and fearful person of my youth.
"It’s a privilege to use your voice on behalf of things you care about, no matter the stage of life." I believe Shriver's words are true. I find myself speaking up and using my voice on behalf of things that are important to me, and I will continue to do so as long as I can.
Do you find that you speak up more as you age? Is your third or last act what you want it to be?
In 2009, my husband and companion of 45 years passed away. I had to decide: What do I do with my life and who am I now? I opened my writing studio in 2010. It was the most satisfying work I have done since I was in my thirties. I discovered the teacher in me had never gone away, but teaching adults who were happy to be there and who enjoyed being in my classroom exhilarated me.
Bringing good poets and writers from far away to our little town gave me a special joy. Many of our local writers feel they can't travel long distances to attend workshops and conferences in large cities. Writers Circle Around the Table gave them the experience of meeting someone, learning from them and connecting in a way that will be beneficial for the rest of their lives.
 |
| A class at Writers Circle around the Table ten years ago |
Ageing is challenging at times. But most of the women I know face problems like taking care of an ill spouse, loss of a loved one, facing their own illness with the wisdom gained over all the years of their lives. My friend, Estelle, in her nineties, is still working on that book about her life she intends to leave for her children. I spent the afternoon with her recently and brought home tidbits of historical knowledge that I can use in writing about my parents, things I had not found on Google.
Another friend who has lived with chronic pain for most of her life and authored a book on the subject, volunteered to facilitate a poetry critique group. She is a well-published poet and is using her knowledge to help others. She has taken on responsibility in her third act that she did not have to accept.
One of my adult students in his seventies has recently become a columnist for his local newspaper. He had never been a writer or journalist before he retired. His articles are creating interest in his county and town, but also from my readers as I publish them on: www.glendacouncilbeall.com
His most recent post was on the Birth of the Constitution. One reader said it should be published in a large publication where more people would read it.
While this country is obsessed with youth, their music, their morals or lack of, their clothes and all the new technology, women and men in their seventies and older are stepping out and proving that age is not a stop sign on the road of life. No one wants to be discounted because of age. They know they have grown better with age. Most of us finally feel free to pursue our dreams and be our best selves, like one of my favorite people who loves to dance and now in her seventies, she is dancing three times each week and has been asked to participate in a program where she will do 25 dances in one day. And she dances in heels! Wow!!
Hilary Clinton, age 71, and her daughter have collaborated on a book about Gutsy Women. Chelsea used a computer but Hilary wrote in long hand. Together they accomplished a highly praised book I want to read. We can not let technology hold us back. Even younger people are frustrated with much of what we are supposed to know about technology. Some young people cannot read cursive writing. That is a handicap to my way of thinking. They are having to learn or struggle with the failure of what our school system imposed on them.
Adult children sometimes try to put their ageing parents in a box. They have preconceived ideas that an older person's ideas are no longer relevant or important. They shame their mothers and treat them like children. That really angers me.
In a recent post Maria Shriver said older women she interviewed said they feel more confident as they age, and they would not go back to their younger selves if they could. I feel the same way. Life after fifty has been the best part of my life. I would never want to go back to the shy, insecure and fearful person of my youth.
"It’s a privilege to use your voice on behalf of things you care about, no matter the stage of life." I believe Shriver's words are true. I find myself speaking up and using my voice on behalf of things that are important to me, and I will continue to do so as long as I can.
Do you find that you speak up more as you age? Is your third or last act what you want it to be?
I am not sure that confidence is the right word for me. I am more accepting of who I am, warts and all, and feel less need to strive to be someone (younger, healthier, prettier) else.
ReplyDeleteWhich is a very big win.
Very thoughtful post. I will have to think on some of your questions. I realize I don't speak up more as I've aged, though. Less, if anything.
ReplyDeleteI agree, EC, accepting who we are and not striving to be someone we are not is a big step. I am still working on acceptance of my age, but I am getting there.
ReplyDeleteInteresting comment, DJan. Perhaps you don't speak up more because you are content with things in your life just as they are.
ReplyDeleteI have felt limited in my ability to speak up about some subjects in the past, but feel much more free to do so now. Thanks for leaving your thoughts here.
It seems that every ten years or so I find myself at a crossroads--or maybe a reckoning--when I look to see where I'm going and how to navigate the road successfully, if not always gracefully. I will always be thankful to have come upon a notice for The Writers Circle in the Murphy NC library and to sign up for my first class with you despite my fears of exposing myself as a writing fraud. I'm still writing, still searching for who I am. I'm more confident in speaking out than when I was younger and if I'm being honest, I'm also angrier some of the time that women continue to have to navigate the same snares after all of our efforts. But maybe that's another post...
ReplyDeleteHi Barbara, I find that every ten years seems to be when I need to negotiate a new contract with myself. I, too, am glad you signed up for a class with me at Writers Circle and you found that you are a good writer. So glad you continue to write and to speak out about issues of importance. I understand your anger. I find I have that anger at times, but matters are so much better than when I was a young woman. We have to continue to speak and educate men because many of them just don't understand what they should and shouldn't do. I am not talking about blatant sexual assaults and bullies that force a woman against her will.
ReplyDeleteI do know some men my age saw what movies portrayed and TV programs, and are ignorant about what is OK and what is not. We can show them what is correct and what women will no longer put up with. Generations to come will have a much different opinion about this. I am afraid my husband would have been in trouble because he was a touch-er. He put his arm around the shoulders of women, and was a hugger as am I. He didn't mean any harm, but that was his personality, much like Biden, I think. Anyway, I am glad you are not afraid to speak up, Barbara. We need to use our voices for good whenever and wherever we can.