What is Elderspeak? Why it should not be used.

Recently I attended a birthday party for a friend and during our conversation I mentioned that I hate it when staff in doctor's offices or other places use elderspeak with me. What is elderspeak, I was asked.

Elderspeak is the vocabulary and speaking voice used when speaking to an older person, usually over 65.
"Come with me, Sweetie."
"Sweetheart, let's take your blood pressure now."
"Darlin', you look so pretty today."

Should this woman be spoken to as if she is five years old?

I know the person using this language is not trying to make me feel bad, but it raises my ire to be talked to like I am five years old. We have three stages in life--childhood, middle age, and old. Just because one is old doesn't mean they have regressed to childhood in mental state.

Studies in older people, even those with dementia, have found that when elder speak is used it has a very negative, even damaging, effect on them.

To me, it seems to be an effort to strip me of my authority over myself. It is a method of controlling me and my thoughts about myself. I prefer Mrs. Beall or I accept Miss Glenda as respect for me due to age. But what is wrong with calling me Glenda just as they did when I was forty years old?

Elderspeak conveys sympathy for my age. I don't need anyone's sympathy because of my age. I am enjoying my life abundantly, and wish the staff people and doctor's took the time to learn why I am happy and enjoying my life instead of seeing me as a person with health problems who has one foot on a banana peeling.

Unknown mother and daughter enjoying each other's company

Of course the people who use elderspeak are young. Even the doctors are much younger than I. As one doctor told me, "I have no way of understanding what you are going through since I have never been your age. I won't understand until I reach your age."

Older doctors, like my cardiologist, call me by my name. I think office staff usually just don't want to take the time to check names when they are in a hurry. 

That is why I write abut it. I try to let others know what I think and what I want. My hair dresser calls me Miss Glenda, which I don't mind. It has always been a southern way to show respect to our elders. But in medical offices, they have my name on my folder, or my records. Why not call me Glenda, or Mrs. Beall? I will answer to anything but Dear, Sweetie, Honey, Sweetheart, or Darling.

The following article from www.agingcare.com has some great advice for caregivers or people who work with older people. This is important for younger adults who have parents they help care for or need to get help for in the future. Don't wait until you need to know.

https://www.agingcare.com/Articles/elderspeak-damage-older-adults-health-175155.htm?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Newsletter%20-%20October%2027,%202018&acst=7d6a3712-3f51-48da-a6d5-d3702d89706e&key=1d2051ac-e579-4335-9bd0-57ae4dccffa1&mkt_tok=