The Importance of Friends

"In an earlier Blog I wrote that when I visit Senior Living Facilities, Nursing Homes, and the elderly in their homes and ask them what the one thing they would do if they could live their lives over again 90% of them respond “I would have spent more time making real friends."

This comes from a blog by Bernard Otis.
http://www.seniormomentswithbernardotis.com/2018/06/the-important-role-of-friends/

Recently I heard about a young woman who was dying from cancer. That is sad, of course, but sadder was the fact that she was estranged from her family and women from her church had to step in and become the family she needed. Someone organized a small group who took turns staying with the ill woman in her last days. She would not contact her family, so they did not know she was sick. Staying with the patient was hard for some because she became angry and bitter, and perhaps not all of those who were with her felt close enough to understand.

I know of others who have no communication with their siblings or parents and it is hard for me to fathom, but often step-brothers and sisters are not close. Divorces in families can separate the children and they grow up living on different sides of the country.

Without family, the importance of friends becomes even more vital in our lives. In today's fast-paced world, we pass and speak and say, "Let's have coffee sometime," but then we don't make the call or send the email.

How many real friends do you have? What is a real friend? To me, a real friend is one who knows my emotional scars, who has seen me at my worst and at my best. To me, a real friend is one who drops what she is doing and gets into her car to come and get me when I call because I am ill and I need someone to drive me home. She doesn't question my need. She doesn't make an excuse.

A real friend to me, is one I will think about and be concerned about when she is traveling alone or dealing with conflict in her family. I want to be there for my friend when she needs to talk about her grief or talk about the great time she had when her children, who I know by name, came to visit.

I feel fortunate that I am empathetic and can see when someone is in pain or just needs a shoulder to lean on. And I am fortunate that I have friends who are the same. All of us have those times when we are overwhelmed with despair or sadness, and we need that friend with whom we can pour out our heartfelt emotions and not be afraid they will turn away. I have that in my sister, Gay, but also in friends.

I think you would enjoy the short posts on Senior Moments with Bernard Otis. He offers us insights into ageing gracefully. I need all the help in that department that I can find.