Althought he was not his usual jolly self, cracking jokes, or teasing Will, I never expected it to be his last Christmas. It was not a good time for him. He was in pain and already the cancer was coming back strong. But we didn't know it at that time. My sadness last December was because he suffered and I didn't know how long that might be. Christmas gifts seemed insignificant last year. But this photo of him is very significant to me. I know why isn't smiling, why his eyes are sad. I'd seen that look in my brother's eyes and I hurt when I think of the pain he suffered in silence.