Monday, May 20, 2013

Saturday - for celebrating milestones and me

After a long and busy week, Saturday was special for me. I joined my sister and friends to celebrate a birthday at the Oar House in Dahlonega, GA. A festival was going on in town, so the quiet restaurant a few miles from the square was perfect for us. We see each other every few months or on special occasions and, while it used to be the six of us, now I make five. For three years after Barry died, I suffered through those days when the six minus one gathered to laugh and share old memories. But today was good. 

I left home around ten o'clock a.m. and returned after nine at night because on the way home I decided to treat myself to a movie. I had been wanting to see the Jackie Robinson Story, 42, and was happy to see it was still up at the Fieldstone Cinema. 

The show didn't begin until seven and I had time to stop in at a Mexican restaurant nearby and order myself a frozen margarita. I seldom drink alcohol, but today it was so good with cheese dip and chips. 

Although it wasn't my birthday, I felt celebratory. I'd had good news about my brother's health, and also I had made another milestone on this journey called grief. After four years one might thing that trip had been completed, but, until you face it, you don't realize it is never finished. It just gets easier as you pass those checkpoints you meet on the way. 


Anonymous said...

Although I just had breakfast, your mention of a margarita with chips and dip is making me hungry. I'm glad you had a memorable time with your family, and congratulations on passing your milestones.

Barbara Gabriel said...

With each of these milestones you pass, you get stronger. Congratulations on making the trip to have lunch with your sister and friends, and stopping off for a margarita & a movie sounds just great. I often end up doing things like that myself since my husband works out of state. I relish the quiet dark of a movie theater...

Susan Anderson said...

I think your grief has made you very brave. In a way, the memories and past relationships have given you enough solid ground that you enjoy being by yourself at least to the extent that you can drink a Margarita and watch a movie. Much love and peace, Susan Anderson

Glenda Beall said...

I love you guys. Thanks so much for your comments. My class I'm teaching now on healing through writing is going so beautifully and my students are doing good work on writing down the pain and learning how the best writers have been inspired by a loss or something traumatic.
We can take the worst events in our lives and turn them into works of art through writing. We have to be willing to go deep and ask ourselves the hard questions.
Thanks for reading my blog.

Lise said...

It sounds like a perfect day! I know how difficult grieving is, and you are right, it gets easier but it's never finished. In a way, I look at that as our way of holding our loved ones close to us forever...eventually the tears of sadness turn to tears of joyous memories.


My sister passed away May 3rd and my brother in law has started his journey without her. I miss my sister but I know he misses his wife more. I hope he finds a group to join.
It sounds like time is helping you.
Best wishes. Thanks for sharing!

Glenda Beall said...

Barb, I am so, so sorry about your loss. My sister passed away last December and I miss her terribly. Her husband has some sad times ahead. I found that reading all the books I could find on grief, handling grief, and writing about the experience of my husbands' death and my feelings then and now has been most helpful.
I send you both hugs through cyberspace. I found that one of the things I missed most was the lack of the loving touch of my husband. He was a toucher. We don't know how much we need the human touch until we don't have it.

Glenda Beall said...

Lise, I like your comment. Thanks.