Friday, August 14, 2009

Are You Afraid to Love and Be Hurt?

Barry Beall waiting patiently for me while I shop in Clarkesville this summer.

This week I was told I need surgery to help me see better. I welcome the day when it is done and I can more easily read road signs and labels on boxes in the grocery store. If I become deaf, I will do my best to wear hearing aids. I don't want to miss one thing in this wonderful world in which we live.

Even our pain is an experience of life. How sad would it be if we lost a loved one and never shed a tear? Grief is part of life if we love. My aunt Judy refused to open her heart to another dog after Dixie died. She never wanted to feel the grief of losing another loved animal. Perhaps she had suffered as much grief as she could stand in one lifetime.

Her only baby died at birth and she grieved a long time. She was unable to conceive again and bear another child. She poured all her love into the beautiful white dog, Dixie. She loved Uncle Jimmy as well, and she never wanted to marry again after his death at a fairly young age. Aunt Judy lived to be in her nineties. I often wondered if she lived so long because she had no one to worry about and no one to care for but herself.

mother never stops worrying about her children. A loving wife never stops worrying about her mate. For the first time in many years, I have no one I need to care for - not my mother, not my father and not my husband. Just me.

Gratefully, I can see what I need to do for myself and slowly but surely I will get things done, but it will be in my time, and in my way. Working is a life-saver for me. I've worked all day today and it was good. Like my father, I feel good when I see the results of my labor.


Joan Ellen Gage said...

Glenda, this is your time. Be sure to use it wisely, and enjoy it like a fine wine or a decadent dessert!

Brenda Kay Ledford said...

You sure have worked very hard with NCWN-W and now you are harvesting the fruits of your labor as our coordinator. We appreciate very much your hard work.

Glenda C. Beall said...

Joan, I hope I will use it wisely. I have many ideas but need time to think awhile. I like "enjoy it like fine wine or a decadent dessert." That makes me think "take your time and go slowly."

Brenda my work with Netwest has been such a pleasure. All the writers in our organization have been delightful and interesting in our communications. When working with such people it is hard to consider my job 'work'.

Pat Workman said...

Well I have certainly reaped many benefits from all the work you have done on NCWNW. I would not have rejoined if it weren't for you. You are in your element with this project. You are a wise and gifted catalyst for so many of us.

Yes..."Slow and steady marks the way"...and I would tritely add: also makes the day.

Pat Workman said...

In answer: I am not afraid to love for fear of being hurt; however, at this stage, I simply lack stamina and/or space for new love-bearing encounters. I have grown quiet content with my face and 'lackless grace.

Glenda said...

On days like today, I almost think love does hurt too much. But it really is better to love and feel the pain of loss than never to have felt the joy of loving and being loved. That is true, isn't it?

Tipper said...

I'm glad you feel the way you do-and I think your Aunt missed out on some happy joyful times by being afraid of being hurt again.

Good to hear you worked all day!!