Thursday, June 18, 2009


Barry and me -- in front of the view seen from the Clarke's deck. Lucky Linda and Dick - two wonderful friends.

Do you know how hard it is to stay positive when everything around you seems to be soooo negative? If you have waited for a doctor's report on a mammogram or ex-ray or biopsy, you know the way your heart seizes up and you wonder if it will ever go back to its ka-thump, ka-thump sound you've always known. The waiting is the worst. Once you know the diagnosis, even if it is bad, you can go on, make plans, do something.
But waiting for days and weeks while symptoms grow worse and your faith falters; well, that takes a huge toll on your emotions and even your physical health.
On Thursday my sweet husband spent a grueling day riding hours in the back seat of a car in order to spend three hours or more in a hospital getting a PET/CT scan to see if he was free of cancer. While I tried to keep my mind occupied, keep a pleasant face for him while he groaned in pain from his swollen leg, the tears and the anxiety hovered just under his radar.
Today we received the report - No Lymphoma in his body. What a relief. I wanted to shout and celebrate, but first I gave thanks. The Big C is a death sentence in the minds of most people. This report could have gone either way, but it went the right way and now I can sleep a little better. But we are not free of fear just yet. Now we head for Atlanta to see yet another doctor who, we hope, can find the reason for the extreme pain BB endures.
Tonight I am also thankful for pain meds that give BB peace and sleep for the first time in many weeks.
Isn't life an adventure? We never know what we might face before the next dawn lightens our world. We might be rewarded with the best ever words or we might be knocked to our knees with terrible news. But we do know, as human beings, we will process the event, decide on a path, and continue on with life. That is just what we do.

Barry and me at a south western party in the eighties.


Joan Ellen Gage said...

What wonderful news for you both! I hope that someone figures out a solution for the swelling and resulting pain.
One day at a time, right?

Pat Workman said...

I am so so happy for both of you, Glenda. As you know, because you were there, I do know how hard it can be to stay positive when your world is crumbling around you. Glenda, you have handled all of this so much better than I did—or ever could. I marvel at your strength and grace, your ability to give and keep on giving, not just to Barry but to all of your associates, friends and loved ones. Lady, you have all the Right Stuff in my book. We continue to breath and shine and grow in spite of ourselves.

What a spiffy couple you guys are—and were in the 80's. Love those pictures!

Glenda C. Beall said...

Hi Joan and Pat, we had some more good news today. No blood clot in his leg. But, still he has the pain and now who do we see to find answers?
Thanks to pain meds and a beer and a glass of wine, he is sleeping like a baby tonight.
And I am going to sleep well, because I will begin tomorrow planning the next step. As long as there is hope and another avenue to take, I am OK.
Pat, I appreciate your kind words. Some times we must grow strong at the broken places, and you were one of the strongest women at a terrible break in your life. Don't sell yourself short, my friend.