WELCOME NEWS AND FURTHER SEARCHES

Barry and me -- in front of the view seen from the Clarke's deck. Lucky Linda and Dick - two wonderful friends.

Do you know how hard it is to stay positive when everything around you seems to be soooo negative? If you have waited for a doctor's report on a mammogram or ex-ray or biopsy, you know the way your heart seizes up and you wonder if it will ever go back to its ka-thump, ka-thump sound you've always known. The waiting is the worst. Once you know the diagnosis, even if it is bad, you can go on, make plans, do something.

But waiting for days and weeks while symptoms grow worse and your faith falters; well, that takes a huge toll on your emotions and even your physical health.

On Thursday my sweet husband spent a grueling day riding hours in the back seat of a car in order to spend three hours or more in a hospital getting a PET/CT scan to see if he was free of cancer. While I tried to keep my mind occupied, keep a pleasant face for him while he groaned in pain from his swollen leg, the tears and the anxiety hovered just under his radar.

Today we received the report - No Lymphoma in his body. What a relief. I wanted to shout and celebrate, but first I gave thanks. The Big C is a death sentence in the minds of most people. This report could have gone either way, but it went the right way and now I can sleep a little better. But we are not free of fear just yet. Now we head for Atlanta to see yet another doctor who, we hope, can find the reason for the extreme pain BB endures.

Tonight I am also thankful for pain meds that give BB peace and sleep for the first time in many weeks.

Isn't life an adventure? We never know what we might face before the next dawn lightens our world. We might be rewarded with the best ever words or we might be knocked to our knees with terrible news. But we do know, as human beings, we will process the event, decide on a path, and continue on with life. That is just what we do.

Barry and me at a south western party in the eighties.

A VENT AND RANT ABOUT OUR INSURANCE, OR LACK THERE OF

We have published 200 posts on this blog and they have been eclectic, as I promised. I've vented about the chemicals in all the products we use, the food we eat and especially the chemical fragrances that are in every single product made today.

Tonight I want to rant a bit about something I learned today that effects many thousands of us, but unless you are the one dealing with lymphedema as we are, you are not likely to know that Medicare doesn't pay for the expensive compression equipment needed to force the proteins and lymph fluid out of a limb and back into the channels that excrete it from the body.

Did you know that after radiation, most cancer patients suffer with horrible swelling in their limbs or in the body? The radiation used to try to shrink the tumor, destroys the lymph glands in the area. The arm or leg swells to gigantic proportions and causes extreme pain. Once the doctor who gives the radiation is done, the patient is on his own to search out someone who can help him with this painful condition.

We fortunately found a good lymphedema specialist, Ann Stone in Murphy, nearby and she has worked diligently two or three times each week, wrapping Barry's leg in multiple layers of compression material, but the progress is slow. Now he is bruising badly and she fears cellulitis could set it.

We have to bring out the big guns she said to us today. She brought in a long black boot that was deeply padded. This contraption is one of the best ways to force the fluids out of his leg, but it costs $2500 she said. We have Medicare and an excellent Medicare supplement insurance, but they will do us no good. Medicare doesn't consider this equipment necessary. I suppose they consider it a "luxury."

I told her there must be other choices. We finally settled on one that Medicare might pay if we meet all the criteria.

Now I'm ready to write letters and make my senators and congressmen aware of this ridiculous situation. My husband will have to fight this problem of lymphedema for the rest of his life. This is the what we hope to avoid when our Medicare fees are taken out of our paychecks. Who can fork over twenty-five hundred dollars in order to receive needed help that should be paid by our insurance companies - Medicare and our supplement? We pay premiums each month, and we expect those premiums to work for our benefit when we need them most.

I'm going to write and call those politicians I voted for and make them aware of this travesty. I hope everyone will do the same. It could happen to anyone at at any time.

Breast cancer victims, lymphoma victims, and many other cancer sufferers will develop lymphedema and will fight it as long as they live. Surely insurance could offer them the best care possible for fighting the pain.

Charge! On to Victory Over Cancer

My first day of a new class begins at 9:30 AM tomorrow and I have had no ability to focus on my lesson plans. I will be winging it, and hope I am awake enough to get my mind off radiation and the questions for the oncologist I typed up and lost. We meet tomorrow afternoon. Decisions must be made. I wanted to be prepared.
I've started another chapter on my life - a turning point has occurred and I will make a new folder to fill with the stories about the time my husband was diagnosed with lymphoma, the horror of dealing with the medical world while in shock and with my mind breaking into shards like a splintered window. I can't see where I'm going and don't know what I'll find when I get there.
I've gone through the stage of anger, bitterness, and now I'm beginning to accept what we cannot change. Just like the loss of a loved one, the diagnosis brings on the stages of grief even though no one has died.
After falling apart every day for weeks, I've pulled myself out of the grip of terror, and I'm now facing the Beast with my sword in my hands. I'm ready for the fight. Together for forty-four years, we can't let a year of radiation and chemo destroy us. We will come out of this challenge stronger and closer than we've ever been.
Bring on the Beast! He is no match for us. We have come to win.