What mistakes do we often make in writing Memoir?

In the years I have taught memoir writing, I have seen the same problems over and over. In the next few weeks, I will write about some of them. Maybe they will be helpful to you. Leave a comment and let me know.

MISTAKE NO. 1: COVERING TOO MUCH

A memoir is not an autobiography.

An autobiography usually contains reflections that one can only acquire from the vantage point of old age. So, an autobiography often starts at birth and follows the writer through youth, a string of questionable decisions, two or more rocky relationships, eventual triumph, and ultimately to old age.

But, a memoir is not like that. While an autobiography is often written at the perceived end of one’s life, a memoir can be tethered to any huge event in one’s life. A memoir is a slice of life. You can document anything, including the death of a loved one, the birth or adoption of a child, summer camp, a religious awakening, becoming an adult, journeying to a different country, or adjusting to a new home, just to name a few ideas.

If you lived it, you can write it.

But, it would be a mistake to write about everything that you’ve experienced in your life at one time. Unless you’re a public figure, very few people are interested in reading about your life from cradle to almost grave. It’s much more impactful, even for public figures, to write about key, transformative events in their lives.

Not sure how to whittle down your epic life into a memoir? Remember, you don’t have to write just one memoir. Isn’t that so liberating? Over the course of your life, you can write several memoirs about the different events that shaped who you are.

What event would take up at least one chapter of your autobiography? Take that chapter and expand it into an entire book. A memoir gives you the opportunity to dig deep into a pivotal event or explore how you felt, why you felt it, and the lessons you learned.

One of the first narratives I wrote about my life was titled The Trains Still Pass Through Acree. In a short piece, I wrote about all the people I knew in the little town of Acree. One of the incidents I wrote about was two of my friends tying up their little brother who often lied to his parents when they came home from work. He told them that his sisters were cruel to him and other tales that were untrue. The girls had a hard time convincing their parents that Butch was not telling the truth.

The girls tied up the mean little brother and put him on the railroad track. He could not move. They waited until the train was in sight and the whistle was blowing before dragging Butch out of danger but left him close enough to smell the smoke and feel the bursts of air from the engine slowing down. He had to promise never to tell lies about them to his parents. 

Editors told me I had too many stories in this essay. I tried to tell too much including all my other stories about others who lived in Acree. 

I had lots of good stories within that short piece, but I needed to concentrate on one incident and do a better job of writing about it instead of jumping around to many other anecdotes. 

This short piece would work better as a book. Each story about the little settlement of Acree could be included. 

I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on this subject or any questions you might have.