Sunday, June 21, 2009

"What doesn't kill us, makes us strong." Is that the saying? Today, when I told my husband I was tired and having a massive headache, that was his response. Looking back on hardships of our lives, I know that dealing with the devastation of my mother's stroke and after care were the most difficult things I'd had to undertake up untill that time. When my husband suffered a heart attack and had quintuple bypass surgery, I thought that was the toughest thing I'd endured.
From learning to cook heart healthy foods to persuading him to eat them, I re-invented our lives. But he cooperated with me and we pursued our goals together. It doesn't always seem that we will come through the tough times, that we will survive even, but we do and often we are stronger than we were.
A friend whose husband is quite ill with Parkinsons and other terrivle diseases, says she takes time for herself as often as she can. This week her step daughter came and stayed while Mary had down time at the beach.

We do become stronger if we live through these hard times. I think, after we have come through a huge struggle and we persevered, we do feel we are stronger and can take on whatever is out there. If you have overcome something tough in your life and feel you are better for doing it, let me hear from you, please.


Kathryn Magendie said...

I have come through some tough things in my life and they shaped who I am. Would I rather have not gone thru some things? It seems so, but then there is that dilemma of: who would I be if I'd not have gone through that?

Taking care of an ill loved one is one of the most difficult things, and one of the most rewarding even when one thinks they will run screaming out of the room! But it is exhausting - I've never had to do it for an extended time. . . not yet anyway.

Pat Workman said...

Life is TOUGH no matter how you slice it and dice it; and yes, I believe demanding times can make us stronger if we "choose" that route. Sadly, many folks don't realize coping well is a Choice and requires nothing more than the desire to survive with style and a modicum of aplomb.

If we are still breathing after the mayhem subsides, there will always hope for new and better beginnings. It sure can take a long time to find the energy to stand tall again--but oh boy, when you do, air and water were never sweeter. Not only do we acquire wisdom and a deeper sense of what is truly important for our personal journey, I believe our senses are actually heighten so we can better perceive and appreciate the simple precious things that might have gone unnoticed had our world not been shaken to its roots.

Glenda said...

This is an old post, but I had not gone back to it due to circumstances about that time.
I agree, Kathryn, that tough times help shape who we are and I also believe we can choose how to deal with those events we'd rather not have had happen to us, Pat. I have seen how women react who have lost loved ones, many in my family, and for the most part they go on to make new lives for themselves and seem happy. But I don't see many who have as happy lives as the one they had in the beginning.
I tell my family I am tougher than they think, but sometimes I wonder who I'm trying to fool.
Those weeks in the hospital wore me down and now I am just plain tired. I fear a lonliness that can't be filled by anything on earth. But maybe in time I'll know how to deal with it.